Homemade Bread

In the early 1980’s after my wife had quit her job in order to stay home and raise our fledgling family and eventually homeschool the kids, she developed a fascination for baking homemade bread.  I must admit that I was very happy about her new hobby as I was the willing recipient of her experiments!  It was like heaven when I would get up in the morning and smell the delicious flavor of fresh bread emanating from the kitchen!  She would use all different kinds of cooking tins from the normal bread pan to coffee cans, which made for a unique array of funny looking sandwiches.  This never bothered me because they tasted so good that I didn’t care what shape they were.  It also helped that I normally ate my lunch in my car or on a bench outside alone so I could work on the many church productions I was writing at any given time.

The memories of the warm kitchen in my grandmother’s house that we were renting, the heavenly scent of the bread cooking in the oven and the taste of her yeasty confections filtered back into my thoughts (and taste buds!) this morning as I read John 6:35 where Jesus told those who had gathered to hear Him that, “I am the bread of life.  Whoever comes to me will never become hungry, and whoever believes in me will never become thirsty.” (God’s Word ©)  Piper’s deliciously filling homemade bread satisfied just like Jesus said He would do for us who would establish our confidence, expectations and faith in Him.

The idea of His being the satisfaction of our lives is something that I have been attempting to fully experience over the last few years.  On Sunday I was itching to do something and although we had some appointments earlier in the day, we were able to slip out of the house and go for a short ride just before dinner.  Because of the lateness of the hour I put off the desire to go to the coast about 45 minutes away and instead drive north to the small, scenic community of Healdsburg using the back roads that meander through rolling hills dotted with farms and vineyards.

The land on which the city of Healdsburg resides was part of the original 48,837 acre Rancho Sotoyome Mexican Land grant that was given to the San Diego Sea Captain Henry D. Fitch in 1840.  Fitch was married to the sister in law of General Mariano Guadalupe Vallejo of early California historical fame.  In 1857 an Ohio business man named Harmon Heald purchased 100 acres of the rancho giving the new town that was to be established there its official founding date.  The small city of approximately 1100 plus inhabitants is one of northern California’s wine capitals as three of the most important wine producing regions meet in Healdsburg.  The focal point of the town is its 19^th century plaza surrounded on all four sides by restaurants, boutiques, antique stores and other businesses that cater to the tourist trade.

As we drove through the downtown area around the plaza, we enjoyed gazing at the myriad of people that were gathered in the park or who walked around the crowded plaza talking, laughing and looking into the brightly decorated storefronts.  But then it hit me and it was just too much for me to take… What caught my attention were all the couples walking hand in hand enjoying the sights and sounds of the day.  And what made it worse was that most of the couples that day seemed to be around the age of my wife and I. 

Suddenly I felt that emptiness that has attempted to creep in with the on slot of the dementia that has attacked my wife.  The lack of her touch, her reassuring words, that sassy look in her eyes and the comfort and security that only she gave to me within our relationship flew past my eyes in a flash and to be honest, I had to turn the car around and head home as I could not look at the contentment and happiness on the faces of those couples in the plaza anymore!  As I drove home I squeezed my wife’s hand as she dozed in the passenger seat next to me and began to pray and give to Him that increasing void inside of me. 

This and more came back to me this morning as I meditated on Jesus’ words concerning His desire to be our satisfaction to the point that we would never hunger or thirst again.  It was interesting to me that one of the definitions for the word “hunger” that Jesus spoke of is “those who painfully feel their want of and eagerly long for those things which by which the soul is refreshed, supported and strengthened.” (Thayer’s)  That’s precisely the pain I was feeling on Sunday as we drove past the crowed downtown plaza in Healdsburg.

I jotted down some of my thoughts about this today and wrote, “I don’t think that I ever necessarily took Piper for granted throughout the 41 years of our relationship, but still, she was always there for me, always perky, and always loving, and supportive of me no matter how outlandish my dreams and hopes were!”  She was always full of joy with a zeal for life, always positive.  Looking back at it now, I can see that I depended on her more than I ever realized.

Now that all of that which is the real her is under attack, I have to depend on Jesus for all of what she was to me… And probably, I should have been doing that all along!  After all, He is the bread of life.  He is the ultimate satisfaction of our lives.  He is the one who is ALWAYS there on the good days as well as on the bad days!  He is (or should be) the very foundation of our life of love… of everything we do in our daily lives.

Well, I’ve had to learn the hard way to make Jesus the bread and the satisfaction of my life.  How about you?  Are there other things or other people that you have unknowingly put in that place in your life?  I’m learning that putting Him absolutely first does not lessen the love you have for the special ones in your life, but instead enhances your love for them!  It may be a little hard to explain, but that’s just the way He works to make our lives a better place.  Have a great day.  Stay in tune to His Word, and keep asking yourself… “What or Whom am I expecting today?”