My Favorites - VICTOR vs Victim

I had a pretty interesting weekend… how about you?  Our weather was fantastic and besides other things, I enjoyed working in the yard mowing lawns and cleaning up the flowerbeds.  I don’t actually remember now if it was on Friday or Saturday, but I finally took the time to clean up the FAVORITES file on my computer. 

I’ve had my current laptop for four or five years now and the list of websites that I saved there had gotten pretty long!  I know that I’ve mentioned before of how I like to research things.  Many times, when I see an interesting article that I either don’t have time at that moment to read or that I want to save for further study, I’ll place it in that section on my browser for easy access.  Well, as you can imagine, the more I’ve added to that list, the less easy the access has become!  So, I finally took a few moments to delete the listings that are no longer pertinent to me.

It was actually a very enlightening process and one that pulled at my emotional heartstrings.  It was like I was viewing a time capsule of my life over the last five years.  I must have purchased the laptop right after we moved into our home in Fuquay-Varina in North Carolina.  The saved information included numerous articles and scientific studies that I had read concerning the most current information that was regularly being published about Alzheimer’s as I sought to stay up-to-date for Piper’s needs, detailed reports on the newest medications we had her on and/or were considering for her, sleeping aids that I was thinking about trying, and other odd subjects including furniture ideas for the new house as well as new outdoor tools and machinery for our large yard in NC.  

Then there was information on the fancy, custom wheelchair we ordered for her, research on the new car we needed to get so we could transport the chair… and the list went on and on… up to and including research for the move out here to Oklahoma, all the city and state legalities we needed to take care of in the new state… and all the way down to the present when I did local searches for things like new restaurants, various stores and State Parks to visit!

Looking through and cleaning out that file got me to thinking about many things and in particular, the many loses that I endured, not only over those last five years, but also the five previous to them.  With my focus so centered on the loss of Piper, the other losses of people, family relationships, and ways of life that we’d lived for 50 plus years, seemed to have taken a distant second place.  But when I looked back… I realized that it really had been a rather tough, heart-wrenching and emotional ten-year period for me. 

In the midst of reliving many of those personal loses, I came across a verse of scripture, that while it actually talks about sin and our old way of living prior to Christian salvation… also seemed very apropos to my look back in time.  In Romans 6:13-14 the Apostle Paul warns us saying:

“Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you've been raised from the dead!—into God's way of doing things.  Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God” (The Message)

The truth of the fact that we as Christians are to be living in “the freedom of God,” instantly helped me to NOT see myself as a VICTIM of the losses of my past, but rather as the VICTOR of the life that Piper and I chose to live in our trust of God and His Word.  I discovered that it is way too easy to see oneself as a VICTIM of one’s circumstances instead of the VICTOR whose path in life may have taken them “through the valley of deepest darkness” but yet fear had NOT conquered them for their trust was in God as He led them victoriously through it all the way to where they are today!  (See Psalm 23)

So, with that in mind, there is no way that I am going to allow myself to dwell on those losses but instead to look for all the gains that are coming my way!  Believe me when I say that I had ENOUGH people trying to get me into the mode of Victimhood whether it was through the idea of a lack of finances, through fear of the enormity of Piper’s situation or by casting doubt that I was doing the right things for her!  But I refused to yield then and still do the same today!

So, if you’re ever in doubt about your place as a Christian in this world, then just quote a few of God’s promises to you and me and say: “But I thank God, who always leads us in victory because of Christ…” (2 Corinthians 2:14 God’s Word ©) or “The one who loves us gives us an overwhelming victory in all these difficulties!” (Romans 8:37 God’s Word ©)  And O Yeah… Don’t forgot one of my FAVORITES found in Philippians 4:13 and boldly declare in the face of doubt, unbelief, fear or any thoughts of failure stating: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (EMTV)

Always remember that in Christ… YOU are always the VICTOR and NOT the VICTIM!

Not much more to say about these facts… so, I’ll just end with a firm “AMEN!”

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I had an interesting experience last evening after turning off the TV for the night.  The after-dinner hours still tend to be some of the roughest for me as my thoughts seem to easily slide over to the “How much I miss Piper” syndrome.  And last night touched off the beginnings of a vivid emotional response. 

While sitting on the edge of the couch, I reached over to the coffee table in order to set down the remote when I hesitantly cried out to the Lord, stammering through the initial statement that I needed more courage and confidence to do whatever He wanted me to do in order to continue on in this new phase of my life without Piper.  I quickly caught myself and clarified my statement saying that “Lord, I’m not implying here that I am going to do anything stupid!  But I’ve never faced anything like this without her to uplift and encourage me… and I just don’t know if I can do it.”

Well… the Lord is good and as I sat slumped down on the edge of our red leather love seat (that I had bought in North Carolina knowing that Piper would love it) I was immediately brought back, in my mind’s eye, to the many times I had sat on the floor in the hallway of our home in NC, where I cried out to Him in exhaustion, fighting despair and needing a helping hand and HE ALWAYS REASSURED ME AND GAVE ME THE STRENGTH, CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE TO GET UP AND GO ON!

From there, like I was watching a video in my head, He showed me many of the seemingly impossible things that He had me to do in the past, like obeying His call and moving our family 1800 miles to Oklahoma to go to Bible School, moving back to California, facing all the uncertainties with Piper’s diagnosis, dealing with the various responses of those around us, working through my own shattered emotions, researching benefit programs, lining up the medical course of action we needed to take and then moving some 3000 miles across the country to North Carolina… followed five years later with another major move back to Oklahoma without her!

Basically, what He told me was that it took obedience, courage and confidence to follow Him and to accomplish all those tasks, and that just as He had been with us through all of those times, that He would continue to be with me today!  What’s different, of course today, is that I no longer have my best-est buddy in the whole-wide-world at my side to encourage me and bolster my confidence at a moment’s notice!

Later that evening as I read my Bible just before turning off the lights, the Lord led me once again, to Psalm 91:13 where the Psalmist writes concerning the presence of God’s angelic protection around us that, “You’ll even walk unharmed among the fiercest powers of darkness, trampling every one of them beneath your feet!”  (The Passion Translation) 

When I got to the part about “walking unharmed among the fiercest powers of darkness” the light (sort of speak) went on and I realized that for me today, that darkness is my inability to see where I am right now, as I follow the plan and purposes that I believe the Lord has given me in His Word to follow.  It’s like I know the end destination but I can’t see HOW what I am doing today, is getting me to the promises He has given to me.

As I reviewed these thoughts in my morning Bible Study today, I was reminded of John1:4-5 where the Apostle of Love writes concerning Jesus saying, “He was the source of life, and that life was the LIGHT for humanity.  The light shines in the dark, and the dark has never extinguished it.” (God’s Word ©)  And with that revelation, I instantly could see HOW the whole key to my personal dilemma, is in keeping the eyes of my spirit man as well as the focus of my understanding and emotions on the Word of God… which illuminates my every step.  I may be in an emotional tunnel of darkness, but as long as I follow the light, I always know that I’m headed in the right direction!  Kind of like the saying of following "the light at the end of the tunnel!"

Have you ever been in a place of emotional darkness?  If so, it would seem to me that the answer to your dilemma would be the same as to mine!  Focus on and follow the LIGHT of God’s Word and you’ll always be assured that you’re going the right way! 

Most people I know will immediately refer to their Bibles as the Sword of the Spirit (See: Ephesians 6:17)… maybe it’s also time to start seeing it as the most powerful, high tech but yet compact FLASHLIGHT in existence in the World today… & you can rest assured that when you turn it over, it will be clearly stamped with the words: “Made in Heaven” and come with the Manufacturer’s lifetime guarantee!

Have a wonderful day… and keep following God's light through the darkness!

Orange Polos & Armor!

Tomorrow we officially enter into one of my favorite out-of-California seasons… fall!  I had always been a summer type of guy in my home town not too far from the northern California coast.  But out here in Oklahoma as in North Carolina… and in fact with most states east of the western coastline states… summers are a totally different kind of animal with their combination of high temperatures and high humidity levels!  The last couple of weeks have been in the low to mid eighties with a comfortable level of humidity.  For all intent and purposes, I’d think I was back in my hometown… if it weren’t so flat out here!

In my last position with The Home Depot where I worked for five years before quitting in 2010 to care for my wife full-time, I supervised a traveling merchandising team.  We covered nine stores both north and south of our home town in California.  We were in a different store daily and wore matching orange polo shirts with our Merchandising Execution Team (MET) logo on them to identify ourselves to store employees and customers alike.  When I left the job, I took my five allotted shirts with me.

The thing though is… that they scream that you are a Home Depot employee, so that I don’t feel comfortable wearing them when I’m out shopping or spending the day in crowded public places.  On the positive side, they are very comfortable, high quality shirts and they fit me really well so… on days like today when I’m planning on hanging around the house and neighborhood, I’ll wear one of the shirts!

One redeeming factor out here is that on first glance, they look a lot like the Oklahoma State University orange shirts that are very common throughout Oklahoma!  So as Fiver and I take our daily walks, I just give the golfers who are out on the greens in their orange shirts a wave and thumbs up and they happily return the gesture… none the wiser!

I was reading about how we Christians are told to stand firm in our faith when in the midst of the trials, tribulations and temptations that we all face at various times in our lives.  In Ephesians 6:13 the Apostle Paul encourages us saying, “For this reason, take up all the armor that God supplies. Then you will be able to take a stand during these evil days. Once you have overcome all obstacles, you will be able to stand your ground.” (God’s Word ©)  When I read that verse this morning, I couldn’t help thinking about how that armor is similar to the bright orange polo shirt that I have on today!

Just as that orange shirt associates me with the company that I used to work for, wearing our spiritual armor associates us with the Kingdom of God!  I’ve heard it said on multiple occasions through the years, that when the enemy of our souls see us wearing the full armor of God, that he can’t really tell if it is you behind all that shining protection or Jesus Himself!  I like that thought!  Don’t you?

An interesting point that I remembered while meditating on this portion of scripture while on our walk this morning, was the way Paul tells us in the King James Version to take “unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand, stand therefore, having…” (Ephesians 6:13-14)

For years Piper and I ascribed to the idea that putting on the full armor of God was something that Christians need to do on a daily basis.  So, we wrote out these verses on paper and taped them to the mirrors in our bath and the kids bath as well, so that we could all make this a part of our daily confession.

Then we realized that last word in the above portion of scripture found in the beginning of Ephesians 6:14 where Paul says “HAVING…”  That makes that whole process past tense!  It a commitment or way of life that we adopt once and for all… and then polish, strengthen, upgrade and adjust our armor through regular fellowship in the Word of God… which is where all the different parts of the armor are found!

As far as my way of thinking goes… when the enemy attacks my house, I want to be ready for action and NOT have to take the time to look for and then try to put on the armor while fighting off the attacking forces with one hand!  How about you?  I’ve also learned that after a while, the armor of God becomes quite comfortable attire (just like my Home Depot polo shirts) and the more I enforce and update it with the ammunition in my daily study of the Word of God, the better it fits and feels!

What do you think about that?  Are you ready for battle?  How comfortable is your armor today?

Shall Supply!

I had kind of a hard time waking up this morning.  When I finally stumbled into the kitchen, I half-heartedly went through the motions of preparing the coffee maker, turned on the local Christian radio station and headed for the study.  Everything seemed to be fine until the station unexpectantly went off the air.  I fumbled with the radio for a few moments until I convinced myself that it was the station and not my thirty-year-old boombox.  Then I turned to grab the remote for the TV and the home entertainment system.

Ah!  That was better as I poured a hot cup of java while my favorite Southern Gospel satellite channel began to fill the house with familiar tunes.  Maybe this day was going to turn out better than I initially thought!  And with that in mind, I went back into the study and sat behind my computer and my digital Bible Study program as it seemed like my universe was coming back into line.  But then… I exclaimed, as I jumped up in my seat, “Oh my gosh!” as Fiver began to howl!  For some reason, there's a few songs that either bother his ears or… he just simply likes to sing along with!

Have you ever tried to study the Bible when your 70lb dog is sitting behind you on the couch and is howling like a wolf?  Let me tell you… it ain’t easy!  So, I jumped up from my momentary touch of peace, laughed, told him “Okay! Okay! I’ll change the channel” and reluctantly returned to the living room where I switched over to The Message, a contemporary Christian music channel out of New York.  That seemed to pacify the pooch and I was able to get back to my solitude!

When I returned to my desk, I was reminded of one of my all time favorite and most used scriptures found in Philippians 4:19.  My original Ryrie NASB Study Bible (purchased in the early 1980’s… actually the first Bible I ever bought myself!) was on the file cabinet next to me, so I opened to the now yellowed and filled with side-notes, underlined and circled words as-well-as many highlighted sections, with the entire edge of the page taped together… and read aloud:

“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

I can’t begin to tell you of all the times I’ve read that verse, studied it alone and with my wife and then together along with our kids!  Through times of thick and thin, plenty and lack, we’ve stood on that promise, and time and time again experienced the fruit of it in our lives!  That verse excited me this morning just as much as it has over the years! 

When you begin to look up the original Greek meanings to many of the words, you begin to understand the depth of the reach of that verse for your life.  Phrases like “shall supply” literally meaning that God desires to fill up your every need to the point of abundance, with the idea of cramming full, totally satisfying you and helping you to finish all the things that you set out to do with plenty more left over to put in store, fill that short verse.!  So… as I have learned over the years… we can be blessed in order to be a blessing to others! (Psalm 37:26)

What more can I say?  We serve a God who definitely desires to bless our socks off!  And He wants us to be just like Him.  Lately, I find myself both laughing and crying at the same time when I read Psalm 91:15 in The Passion Translation where the Lord tells us that “I will be your glorious hero and give you a feast.” I get emotional because that’s exactly who I always wanted to be for my lovely wife… and now I find out that I felt that way because I wanted to be just like my heavenly Big Brother… and I can be at peace in knowing that in Piper’s eyes, I just might have been that hero as I cared for her 24/7 for the last eight years of her earthly existence.   

The reality of it is, that without His provision of all of our needs… that I would never had been able to quit my job(s) and fully focus on her needs.  Isn’t God Good!  He blessed me, so that I could be a blessing to her!*

Are you trusting… or maybe I should say “Expecting” in the Lord’s provision for your needs so that you too can in turn be a blessing to those around you?  Are you experiencing His provision and blessing in all the things in which you set your hand to… like in your jobs, in your families, in your personal ministries, and in the lives of those you interact with on a daily basis?  You know… His provision of all your needs has endless possibilities in each of our lives.  That thought makes me want to “SHOUT GLORY!”  How about you?

Have a blessed weekend, expect His best and then pass that best on to others!

 

*I’m not advocating that everyone quit their jobs and just trust in the Lord.  One must have God's Word and His leadings for you personally.  We stepped out in faith with a plan for our unique set of circumstances. I had independent work that I could do while keeping Piper with me, and God opened up the door for us to qualify for certain benefit programs due to the severity of Piper’s physical condition.

The Beauty All Around

Fiver and I were out for our morning walk alongside the golf course next door to our neighborhood yesterday, when we heard the familiar whine of a couple of electric golf carts pulling up next to us.  The first cart had a two ladies in the front seat who just couldn’t seem to stop staring at Fiver!  As we neared their position, one of the gals finally said with great expression in her voice, “Oh, what a beautiful dog!” and the other lady simply nodded her head in agreement, as they continued to look at him.  I smiled and thanked them and we continued on our way!

When we were about ten feet past them, I suddenly had to stop and think about their comment and the revelation of how God has always surrounded me with beauty.  When we continued on our walk, I began to make a mental list of all the beautiful things that I have experienced in my life, starting with a wonderful childhood, loving parents, great siblings and a very close-knit extended family of Italian heritage.

When we turned the corner and entered the park and the far end of our walk and headed for the pond, I continued my list and thought… “and it only got better from there!”  In the middle of high school, I met the most beautiful and wonderful person, both inside and out, who would become my life-long partner, the Mom to our beautiful children, and the purveyor of so many beautiful memories in my life that if I listed them all… well… I’d be writing about them for months!

I think about all the beautiful families and individuals that we got to meet and have the honor of ministering to throughout the years, the beautiful places that we got to visit, the beautiful things we had to enjoy… and YES… I would even have to include some of the gorgeous cars we owned, for Piper and I both had an attraction to hot cars and worshipped a God who knows our desires even better than us and enjoys giving us special things! 

Along with Fiver, I also remember the other beautiful pets we’ve had, the places we’ve lived (I remember Piper praying early on that we would always have a nice house to live in) and the beautiful Christian fellowships that we got to worship with and in!  Some of those churches may not have been housed in the fanciest of buildings, but the praise, worship and fellowship was beautiful beyond measure.

Have you taken the time to think about all the beauty that the Lord has surrounded you with in your lifetime?  The beginning of Ephesians 2:10 in The Passion Translation states that “We have become his poetry…”  Think about that for a moment.  God the Father thinks of you as a beautiful sonnet, a poem declaring how beautiful you are to Him.  He sees you and I as living in step and in rhythm with Him and the plans that He has for us.

Ephesians 2:10 continues by saying that we are, “a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it!”   And all along the particular paths that He has designed for you to take in this life, He has populated it with the beauty of His creation… just for you and I to enjoy!

I realized on that walk yesterday, that even in the midst of the hardest of the hard times that came along the way in Piper’s and my life together, that there were still glimpses of His grace and displays of His beauty all around us… all along the way!  I’ve learned that as we continue to keep our faith, our expectations, our love, our peace and our joy focused on Him… especially in the tough times, that we’ll still experience His beauty… even when things in the natural seem to have gone from bad to worse!  

I’ve heard it said that the night is darkest right before the dawn… and I’ve learned the importance of keeping a constant lookout for the light of His love and the light His beauty that always comes through. His light and that beauty always seems to pop out into view… many times… when you least expect it!  Always remember God’s promise to you in Psalm 91:15 where He unequivocally declares to both you and me that, “I will answer your cry for help every time you pray, and you will (always) find and feel my presence even in your time of pressure and trouble. I will be your glorious hero and give you a feast.” (The Passion Translation)

So, if I might be so bold… I highly encourage you TODAY, to take a few moments away from your busy schedule and consider all the beauty that the Lord is surrounding you with today!  I would even go so far as to suggest that you write it down and tape the list to the front door of your refrigerator!  This way you’ll see it every day and have opportunity to add to the list every time you recall another wonder of His creation or experience new and fresh expressions of His beauty that comes along your way in life!

Isn’t God Good?  Just look around and I think you’ll answer with me… a resounding YES, HE IS!

Consistency

Consistency [ kuhn-sis-tuhn-see ]

·       steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.:   (Dictionary.com)

 

I’ve oftentimes looked back on Piper’s and my 48 years together and noticed that we always seemed to be drawn to people in the churches we attended who… shall we say, were a little different from the others and/or those who looked like they might need some tender loving care.  In actuality, it also happened in the secular jobs we held, in the stores we frequented and most definitely in the various neighborhoods that we lived in, while in California, as well as those in Oklahoma and North Carolina!  We always felt that our main ministry was to the young in Christ and to those who were hungering for a better way in life.

I think the one overriding commonality amongst all that we ministered to was a lack of CONSISTENENCY.  Life to many of these individuals seemed to be a big roller-coaster ride filled with twists and turns and ups and downs.  I can’t tell you how many times we saw these folks in the church get all excited about the things of God, come up to the alter (or platform) at church, rededicate their lives to the Lord, and then within a few months, be noticeably absent, once again, from the fellowship… only to return after many phone calls and personal ministry… broken in Spirit and wanting to start over again.

We experienced similar behaviors with those who had difficult times dealing with the changes in Piper as the effects of the Alzheimer’s progressed.  Some of the people we expected (and to be honest, were depending on) to act sensibly and responsive to her needs, seemed to suddenly become very unpredictable and insensitive.  While on the other hand, there were also those who totally surprised me at the amount of care and concern they demonstrated for my sweet wife in her time of need.

In Philippians 3:12 in The Passion Translation, the Apostle Paul states that “I admit that I haven’t yet acquired the absolute fullness that I’m pursuing, but I run with passion into his abundance so that I may reach the purpose that Jesus Christ has called me to fulfill and wants me to discover.”  If you’ve read any of my recent posts, then you know my thoughts about the need to be passionate in life.  And this verse is another one of those that stirs up that flame of passion in me.  The idea of “running with passion into His abundance to reach the purposes He has for me” excites me!  How about you?

The New American Standard Version says that “I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.”  Robertson’s Word Pictures explains Paul’s “pressing on” saying, “He is not discouraged, but encouraged.  He keeps up the chase.”  That to me, perfectly describes the idea of CONSISTENCY! 

Throughout the eleven years that we fought the battle for Piper’s health, we worked diligently to stay CONSISTENTLY focused on the promises in God’s Word.  It was a course of action… or maybe better said, a course of life, that we had been working on, practicing and hopefully improving on, the whole time we were together, beginning in high school in 1970!  And by the time we got that first devastating negative report in July of 2007, we simply responded with what we had been spiritually and physically trained to do… to trust in the Lord, no matter what the physical and emotional circumstances presented… or more accurately stated… screamed in our faces!

And today, two years after her passing, I am discovering that I have to stay just as focused… if not more, as when Piper was with me… mainly because she’s NOT with me anymore.  I’m finding out that I HAVE to stay CONSISTENT in doing all the right things that I’ve always done in the past to keep me “strong, confident and courageous” (See: Joshua 1:9).  In the past I could simply depend on my spunky partner to encourage me, but now… well, it’s up to me!  Therefore, my plan is to stay CONSISENT in my CONSISTENCY in doing the right things to keep me headed in the right direction as “I run with passion into his abundance so that I may reach the purpose that Jesus Christ has called me to fulfill and wants me to discover.”

How about you? How CONSISTENT are you?

5 Times Better!

While standing out in the rainy backyard this morning with Fiver, I got to thinking that due to family circumstances, I believe that I was actually raised to be more independent than my siblings.  By the time I began to go to school, my folks were well known and very active at the St Rose Catholic Parish near downtown Santa Rosa.  Both of my older siblings attended St Rose Elementary School through sixth grade when, on my Dad’s request, left to attend Herbert Slater Junior High where he taught.  They both developed strong friendships with their fellow students and church friends at St Rose and my brother still interacts with many of them to this day!

I on the other hand, attended first and second grade at St Rose but then my family moved across town and out of the parish boundaries.  I went to public school for a year until there was room for me at St Eugene’s Elementary School beginning with the fourth grade.  Following sixth grade, I also moved over to Slater, which was within walking distance (spell that l-o-n-g distance, although I did it – as did my Dad, many times) from our new home.  Both My brother and sister were in Junior High when we moved.

My Mom immediately got involved at Matanzas Elementary School and then at St Eugene’s when I attended them… but it wasn’t quite the same as before.  At St Rose, our family was part of the old crowd, like I said earlier.  We were well-known and seemed to know everybody.  My folks were very active in everything at both the church and school.  When we moved, we were the new guys! 

By the time I got to high school, I tended to be fairly self-motivated having learned, especially through running track in ninth grade, that I could succeed in something I set out to do, when I trusted in myself, pushed myself and not dwell too much on what others may have thought about me.  Then when I met Piper in eleventh grade, I really began to grow in self-confidence by leaps and bounds.  She just seemed to have a way about her that brought out the best in me!

From what she had told me and from little bits of information I have picked about her childhood through the years and especially lately when I reconnected with one of her older cousins, Piper also seemed to be more of the independent one in her family.  She was born when her Dad was attending college (at three different schools) and said that she spent a lot of time with her paternal grandparents during her early formative years.  She also tended to “hang out” with her older cousins at family gatherings as well as well as at her grandparent’s ranch near Cloverdale California.

In most of the pictures that I have seen where she is standing with her younger sister, as well as in the stories I heard, Piper was normally the leader and also the one who instigated the silly grins and poses and the daring adventures... Like going partially down the driveway and unto the steep private road that they shared with their immediate neighbors in their red Radio Wagon!

After we had been dating for a while, I finally asked Piper why her older neighbor would always honk the horn on her big Cadillac as she neared the bend of the road at Piper’s house, on the way to her spacious home at the top of the hill.  That’s when Piper burst into laughter and told me the story of her sister and her wild wagon rides down part of the hill… and how it scared the living daylights out of her neighbor… who continued to blow the horn until they moved a few years later!

So… it was only natural for us to be the more independent ones in both of our families!  We tended to think differently and do things differently from the rest of our immediate kin.  When we got married, we wanted to break out from the family norms, establish our own traditions, and follow our heart's desires as we sought the Lord’s personal plans for us.

I was reminded of all this during my Bible Study today when I read from one of my favorite and what we always believed to be one of the most powerful scripture promises spoken out by Jesus in Mark 11:24 when He declared, “Therefore I say unto you, What things soever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.” (KJV – I updated the original “ye” to the more modern “You.”)

We combined our individual PERSONAL PASSION for life in line with the Word of God, into everything we set out to accomplish as husband and wife… and as parents to our kid’s.  To me, this verse is the best example of the importance of each person’s need to develop a PERSONAL PASSION for life.  You’ll notice that this verse repeats the word “YOU” FIVE TIMES.  As I take it, according to this statement, Jesus is saying that the success or failure of receiving the things that we may need or desire is up to you and me… not someone else.  Not someone else’s faith, not someone else’s influence, not according to the balance in your checkbook or even on how many friends you have on Facebook or followers on Twitter!

It’s all about “YOU!” and your PERSONAL PASSION for God, for life, and for success.  In some respects, it’s rather simple… but it sure isn’t always the easy way to go!  As Fiver and I walked yesterday, I began to list all the seemingly incredible things that God made credible for Piper and I during our lives and especially during the last eleven years of her earthly existence.  And let me tell you, when you choose to live life this way, you’ll will face many people who will tell you to your face that you are crazy, stupid, naïve, selfish and worse… (which are some of things actually stated about us… and me in particular).

But in the end… as I look around me today… they are no-where to be seen.  And even if things didn’t turn out exactly as I had planned, I really couldn’t have asked for better as Piper has graduated to heaven, is in the best place possible for her, she’s healed, set-free and I am positive that she is smiling from ear to ear… and if I listen closely, I’d swear that I can hear her all-familiar laughter ringing in my ear!  And honestly, I would not change a thing that we did!  We began our relationship with that PERSONAL PASSION for the God kind of life and she went out in that same mode… we kept seeking His way and following His directions all the way across the country, until she took the offramp from the end of this road onto her eternal highway!

Are YOU ready to explore YOUR own PERSONAL PASSION for your Life?  I believe that it will make your life at least FIVE TIMES better than it ever had been before!

The Personalization of Your Faith...

I’ve had a lot of unique opportunities during recent years.  Granted, most of them have come out of the most difficult time in my life with my wife’s sickness and subsequent passing.  But as I look back this morning, I can see how the good Lord continually had his hand on us… and on me in particular, in order to prepare us for what was ahead and take all the comfort-zone-busting steps that was required of us.

Piper and I were always a team.  We spent as much time as we could with each other.  We called each other from our perspective jobs on a regular basis and we talked about each other to those around us.  In every place that I worked over the 48 years of our relationship, those who worked with me also knew Piper and the same could be said when she worked outside the home and throughout her homeschooling experiences, when it came to people knowing her husband.  When she would walk into my place of employment to bring me something, it felt like Christmas morning to me.  I was always excited to see her… and to be honest… to parade her around so that everyone could see how blessed I was!

We were each other’s best friends, confidants and counselors. Major and many minor decisions that concerned us or our family were made together.  It’s just the way we did things.  It wasn’t that either of us couldn’t make decisions on our own, we just enjoyed talking things over, working through conflicting ideas and agreeing on a course of action.  Needless to say, we knew each other and how the other one ticked QUITE well!

As Piper’s ability to think things through and vocalize her thoughts began to decrease due to the encroaching Alzheimer’s, it became more and more apparent that I would be the one solely responsible for all the decisions ahead.  And while I can’t say that I ever found myself concerned about it, I did learn over time, that it was a heavy burden to carry.  But like I said, I knew her pretty much inside and out and it wasn’t difficult to know what she would prefer with each and every decision that I was faced with... even if she couldn’t voice her thoughts.

I also discovered early on, that I had a partner in all of this that was even closer than Piper. One whose thoughts, incomparable wisdom and directions for us were voiced within the pages of my Bible.  Looking back today, I can see how He began to lead me by the hand, step by step… even before we knew what was going on with Piper!  He had this uncanny ability of placing a line of thought or a particular scripture in my head that would end up being part of the firm foundation that we needed under our feet when our world began to fall apart.

One of the first of those scriptures, that I’ve talked about a lot, was in Ephesians 3:19 as found in my brand-new God’s Word © translation of the Bible that I discovered while in Bible School.  Here the Apostle Paul is praying that, “You will know Christ's love, which goes far beyond any knowledge. I am praying this so that you may be completely filled with God.” 

The first time I read that translation, the word “KNOW” caught my attention and just sort of popped off the page!  So, I immediately went over to my computer at my desk in that funky little duplex we had rented in Oklahoma back then, opened up my new Bible Study program that I had also learned about from my Bible School classes and began a word study on that word “KNOW.” I was just beginning to enjoy the depth of information in the program and discovered a whole new set or resources that I’d never known about before.

Low and behold, the number 3 definition in Thayer’s Greek Definitions concordance described the word “KNOW in this verse as the, “Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman.”  Okay… this kind of caught me by surprised and to be honest… it embarrassed me a little to think about a Biblical term in that regard!  But then it all hit home… Paul was clearly saying that Jesus Christ loved Piper and I with the same depth and very intimate level of understanding, commitment and oneness that Piper and I did toward each other as expressed in what we always considered to be the most intimate, giving and enjoyable act of marriage between a loving husband and wife.

One again, it almost embarrassed me to think that God LOVES me and KNOWS me that deeply and personally!  But it makes sense doesn’t it!  When I began to think about how well I knew my wife over the many years we were together, it only makes sense that our CREATOR would know us just as well and probably much deeper from before we were born!

That one revelation started a process in me where I began to take a look at almost everything I thought I believed, scriptures that I had previously stood on and the promises in God’s Word that I had depended on since the early 1970’s.  That slow but deliberate process brought me to the place were I finally personalized what I believed and empowered me to take stands of faith for Piper and I that I might not have attempted in our past.

In those deepest hours of despair and darkness, when I’d slump down on my knees or sit against the wall in the hallway with tears flowing down and my heart reaching out in desperation, it was always the realization of just how INTIMATELY He KNEW and LOVED us, that pulled me through and refocused and re-fired my hope, my expectations and my faith back on to the promises in His Word.  Looking back now, I can see how FEAR and the thought of giving up NEVER had a chance of survival in our house... because WE KNEW THAT WE KNEW… beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our Father loved us just as much… and even more than Piper and I loved each other and would do absolutely ANYTHING for each other!

What do you think?  Please don’t see this as any form of bragging on my behalf.  It was a very humbling experience and proved to be the most powerful force in our lives!  And it is available for everyone who takes the time to study it out and come to this revelation…  So, I’ll humbly ask you… “How PERSONAL is your faith in Jesus and His LOVE for you?”

"WORD Birds!"

If you’ve been reading from this blog for any length of time, you’ll probably laugh when I say that I have a passion for the Word of God.  I say that because I talk about it all the time!  I had a passion for His Words as they are recorded in the Bible even before I had any idea what they meant!  When Piper gave me that first paperback New Testament Good News translation soon after we began dating, I was mesmerized by it!  I recall walking down the hallway at my parents’ home when I got home from school that day, all excited about the adventure that awaited me between the pages of that special book!  

Prior to that time, I can remember piously picking up the Catholic Douay Bible that my folks had as ornamentation on one of the end tables in the living room and looking through it.  And each time I did it, I came away more confused than when I’d opened it!  But I seemed to know deep down inside, that there was something special about it!

And thank the Lord that I had the most fortunate opportunity to fall in love with a gal that not only had that same passion… but more importantly… had a good understanding of what it said… and in fact, lived her life by it!

I’ve had a few people asked me since Piper’s move to heaven, if my faith was shaken by what happened to her.  And each and every time my unequivocal answer is a resounding “NO!”  To be honest, I am always surprised by that question.  My first thought is always the same… “WHY?”  Meaning both WHY would it be shaken and/or WHY would you ask me such a (silly) question?  I don’t mean to be rude, but if anything, my faith has gotten progressively stronger since I first got that paperback New Testament and began to learn about the promises of God!

Lately I have been studying the 23^rd Psalm.  Today I was enamored by verse four as explained through my new Passion Translation Bible.  Here the Psalmist seemingly takes the words right out of my mouth when he wrote, “Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way. Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.” 

Many truths stand out to me in that scripture promise.  God had (& still is) taking me through my deepest valley of darkness.  I didn’t get stuck anywhere along the way, and I am not stuck now!  Fear sure tried it’s best to rear its ugly head through the negative comments and actions of people I love, through the drastic deformative changes in Piper’s beautiful features, all the emergency situations we were faced with along the way, and worst of all for me, seeing the torment she would go through in the midst of the numerous seizures she had in front of me and not be able to do anything but calmly keep her safe and repeatedly assure her that she was gonna be okay!

And through it all, we NEVER gave up and NEVER gave fear an inch!  Was I tempted?  You bet I was, but I refused to give ownership to any of those thoughts.  Way back in 2008, the Lord had begun to deal with me concerning Ephesians 3:19 where Paul prays that we would come to the place of having an ever-increasing, intimate knowing of Christ love for us, and that revelation kept me going because I knew that His love for Piper and I also included the keeping of the promises in His Word.  God has remained close to me the whole journey, all the way… & He is still with me today!

We had learned early on in our relationship that His authority in and through His Word would always be our strength and peace.  So that understanding was already in place when we began to get the results of her tests.  And through it all, the comfort of HIS LOVE always dealt with the encroachments of fear. 

And now… well… I’m working on the last part of that verse.  He promises me that I’ll never be lonely… and to be honest… that’s been a hard one to work through!  But I am pressing onward, trusting Him more than ever before and thanking Him each day as time seems to help to take away the pain of the loss of the most important person in my life.

People have also asked how I feel because she wasn’t healed as we had set our faith… and again, without a second thought… I ALWAYS answer the same!  I can’t help but to break out into a great big smile and correct them saying… “Oh!  But YES, SHE WAS!”  Ephesians 1:4 tells us that, “Before the creation of the world, he chose us through Christ to be holy and perfect in his presence.” (God’s Word ©)  And well… She is in HIS presence NOW and according that WORD, she is Holy, Happy and Perfect there!”  (I add the “HAPPY” as Psalm 16:11 states that “complete JOY is in HIS presence.” as well)

So, what more can I say?  Piper and I have always been what I came to coin as “WORD Birds!”  We chose to live our lives by the Word of God and NOT by what we saw and heard that was contrary to it.  I wouldn’t ever want to change that!  I saw what happened to good people who chose to depend more on what they SAW than on what the WORD of GOD said about our situation and I feel sorry for them.  I hurt for them.  But there isn’t anything I can do, besides to pray for them.  They have to make their own decisions… and then live by them.

How have you chosen to live your life?  In WHOM or in WHAT do you base your trust?

Fragrances

I have been an avid user of aftershave or men’s cologne since I was in junior high school.  Truth be known, I started shaving when I was twelve years old and in 7^th grade.  With my 100% Italian heritage, I really never had a chance!  You wouldn’t know it now, but when I was younger, I had thick, wavy, black hair… and lots of it!  I recently heard from one of Piper’s cousins, that Piper had confided in her while in high school, that she was working on getting a tall, dark (Oh Yes... & handsome) Italian as her boyfriend… and I guess it worked!  That girl definitely had a way with prayer!

I started out using Old Spice because it was what my Dad always used, but by the time I got into high school I began to try out other fragrances as well.  When Piper and I started dating, I noticed that her Dad also used Old Spice.  Back then, I was driving my family’s 1951 Chevy and since Piper’s folks had a 1969 Camaro SS 396 and a 1965 Mustang in their carport… well… we tended to drive one of their cars, if one was available.  The problem though, was that every time we got into her Dad’s Mustang, it reeked of Old Spice!

Now, I may not have been the sharpest nail in the box, but I sure didn’t want Piper thinking of her Dad when she was with me… so I immediately dumped my Old Spice and switched over to the standard of the younger crowd at that time… Jade East!  We also quickly figured out that although her parent’s cars were fun to drive, that they had one glaring problem for us… Yep!  You guessed it… those bucket seats and the console in-between… while the 51 Chevy had the long bench seat!  That bench seat made it a lot more comfortable to hold my honey tight and not from a distance!

I’ve been wearing a silver dog-tag type medallion around my neck for about three years now with Piper’s name on it.  It is a constant reminder for me of her love and the extreme closeness that we enjoyed together.  And every morning as I splash on a little aftershave, I smile when I put a pat on my chest where the medallion sits thinking that this will help her to remember me as well!

Today just happens to be the TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Piper’s homegoing.  And as I was reading in the Scriptures this morning from Psalms 23, I couldn’t help but think about where I'd be today, and what would have happened if we had not followed what we believed to be the path that the Lord had told us to take, when we received that first negative report from the initial brain scan that she had taken out here in Oklahoma back in 2007.

From his heart, the Psalmist wrote of the Lord, declaring that, “He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss.  (&) That’s where he restores and revives my life…”

The thought that immediately popped out to me when I read this today, was the point that it is as we follow HIS TRACTS, and not someone else’s, that we will be led to the “oasis of peace” and “the quiet brook of bliss” that HE has personally hand-crafted in order to give us the unique and particular peace and bliss that we need right then and there in our lives!  And as you most likely know and/or can figure out from your own personal experiences, we had PLENTY of opportunities to follow other people’s opinions of what THEY THOUGHT was best for us!

It occurred to me as I meditated on this scripture this morning, that if we had followed people’s advice instead of God’s clear directions, that if anything, we would have been serving to yield to the difficulties that THEY were facing in dealing with the seemingly dire needs of our situation and in essence, helping to give THEM a sense of peace from THEIR fears.

I was also reminded of Romans 8:5 where the Apostle Paul unequivocally stated that, “Those who are motivated by the flesh only pursue what benefits themselves…”  Now, I know that this may sound harsh, but similar to our President’s “America First” platform, I quickly came to set forth a “Piper First” platform as the horrific tricks of the devil became more and more visible around us when it came to Piper’s health.  I learned the hard way that the enemy of our souls will use ANYONE and/or ANYTHING that is available to him to get at us, in order to steal our faith in God and His Word!

I can only imagine where I would be and the condition that I would be in if we had followed the disinformation of the enemy back then.  Most likely I’d still be in California, be living in some old apartment located in a bad, but somewhat affordable to my meager budget neighborhood and find myself being both totally broke and totally broken in spirit, soul and body.  Once again, that may sound harsh, but it was exactly what some people were predicting over us when we didn’t follow their advice!

But instead, I look back today and see how blessing after blessing went before us almost everywhere we went and in every tough situation we faced! (See: Psalm 40:4)  Sometimes I can only shake my head in wonder as I recall how our unyielding trust in God and the accompanying LACK of FEAR that surrounded us and emanated from us was commented on by complete strangers that we encountered all along the way in Oklahoma, California and North Carolina.

Like the aftershave I wear, both 2 Corinthians 2:14 and Psalm 23:5 speak of the fragrance that surrounds those who intimately know Christ, and I am reminded of the nice things people said to us in the various places we went.  The wonderful women in the Doctor’s office in San Francisco kind of sums it all up when she stopped me as I got up in the waiting room to bring Piper into the examination room when they called her name.  

The lady looked me in the eyes with a big smile and said loud enough for everyone in that crowded waiting room to hear, “Your wife has a very sweet Spirit about her!”  When I pondered that experience this morning, I realized that that lady, and the other’s in that room, not only SAW and felt the Spirit in Piper, but mostly likely SMELLED the sweet fragrance of the Holy Spirit as well!

That my dear readers is the effect that you and I bring into the world of our family's, our neighborhoods, our jobs, the stores we frequent and every other place we go when we make the persistent choice to follow HIS TRACTS for US and not those given by someone else.  And although my heart still aches from the absence of Piper in my life, I am reassured, at peace and even JOYFILLED when I think about the PATH we followed and how it led her to her glorious, eternal home with Jesus in heaven!  And when you think about it… God also made sure that I am doing good as well!

What fragrance emanates from you?