I’ve had a lot of unique opportunities during recent years. Granted, most of them have come out of the most difficult time in my life with my wife’s sickness and subsequent passing. But as I look back this morning, I can see how the good Lord continually had his hand on us… and on me in particular, in order to prepare us for what was ahead and take all the comfort-zone-busting steps that was required of us.
Piper and I were always a team. We spent as much time as we could with each
other. We called each other from our
perspective jobs on a regular basis and we talked about each other to those
around us. In every place that I worked
over the 48 years of our relationship, those who worked with me also knew Piper
and the same could be said when she worked outside the home and throughout her
homeschooling experiences, when it came to people knowing her husband. When she would walk into my place of
employment to bring me something, it felt like Christmas morning to me. I was always excited to see her… and to be
honest… to parade her around so that everyone could see how blessed I was!
We were each other’s best friends, confidants and
counselors. Major and many minor decisions that concerned us or our family were
made together. It’s just the way
we did things. It wasn’t that
either of us couldn’t make decisions on our own, we just enjoyed talking things
over, working through conflicting ideas and agreeing on a course of
action. Needless to say, we knew each
other and how the other one ticked QUITE well!
As Piper’s ability to think things through and vocalize her
thoughts began to decrease due to the encroaching Alzheimer’s, it became more
and more apparent that I would be the one solely responsible for all the
decisions ahead. And while I can’t say
that I ever found myself concerned about it, I did learn over time, that it was
a heavy burden to carry. But like I
said, I knew her pretty much inside and out and it wasn’t difficult to know
what she would prefer with each and every decision that I was faced with... even
if she couldn’t voice her thoughts.
I also discovered early on, that I had a partner in all of
this that was even closer than Piper. One whose thoughts, incomparable wisdom
and directions for us were voiced within the pages of my Bible. Looking back today, I can see how He began to
lead me by the hand, step by step… even before we knew what was going on
with Piper! He had this uncanny
ability of placing a line of thought or a particular scripture in my head that
would end up being part of the firm foundation that we needed under our feet
when our world began to fall apart.
One of the first of those scriptures, that I’ve talked about
a lot, was in Ephesians 3:19 as found in my brand-new God’s Word ©
translation of the Bible that I discovered while in Bible School. Here the Apostle Paul is praying that, “You
will know Christ's love, which goes far beyond any knowledge. I am
praying this so that you may be completely filled with God.”
The first time I read that translation, the word “KNOW”
caught my attention and just sort of popped off the page! So, I immediately went over to my computer at
my desk in that funky little duplex we had rented in Oklahoma back then, opened
up my new Bible Study program that I had also learned about from my Bible
School classes and began a word study on that word “KNOW.” I was
just beginning to enjoy the depth of information in the program and discovered
a whole new set or resources that I’d never known about before.
Low and behold, the number 3 definition in Thayer’s Greek
Definitions concordance described the word “KNOW in
this verse as the, “Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man
and a woman.” Okay… this kind of
caught me by surprised and to be honest… it embarrassed me a little to think
about a Biblical term in that regard!
But then it all hit home… Paul was clearly saying that Jesus Christ
loved Piper and I with the same depth and very intimate level of understanding,
commitment and oneness that Piper and I did toward each other as expressed in
what we always considered to be the most intimate, giving and enjoyable act of
marriage between a loving husband and wife.
One again, it almost embarrassed me to think that God LOVES
me and KNOWS me that deeply and personally! But it makes sense doesn’t it! When I began to think about how well I knew
my wife over the many years we were together, it only makes sense that our CREATOR
would know us just as well and probably much deeper from before we were born!
That one revelation started a process in me where I began to
take a look at almost everything I thought I believed, scriptures that I had
previously stood on and the promises in God’s Word that I had depended on since
the early 1970’s. That slow but
deliberate process brought me to the place were I finally personalized
what I believed and empowered me to take stands of faith for Piper and I that I
might not have attempted in our past.
In those deepest hours of despair and darkness, when I’d
slump down on my knees or sit against the wall in the hallway with tears
flowing down and my heart reaching out in desperation, it was always the
realization of just how INTIMATELY He KNEW and LOVED us, that
pulled me through and refocused and re-fired my hope, my expectations and my
faith back on to the promises in His Word.
Looking back now, I can see how FEAR and the thought of
giving up NEVER had a chance of survival in our house... because WE
KNEW THAT WE KNEW… beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our Father loved us
just as much… and even more than Piper and I loved each other and would
do absolutely ANYTHING for each other!
What do you think?
Please don’t see this as any form of bragging on my behalf. It was a very humbling experience and proved
to be the most powerful force in our lives!
And it is available for everyone who takes the time to study it out and
come to this revelation… So, I’ll
humbly ask you… “How PERSONAL is your faith in Jesus and His LOVE for
you?”
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