Tough Decisions

Way back in the spring of 1973 I made the tough decision to quit college after my junior year and start a photography business with a good friend.  We called the fledgling business “Reflections Photography,” and while it only lasted about a year, it did open the door for me to pursue a passion on a professional level that I had been developing ever since I got my first Kodak Instamatic camera in elementary school.  That initial venture gave me the foundation for the part-time business that I had up until a few years before we left for Oklahoma in 2006.  Its funny that I was just mentioning to my older daughter a couple of days ago how that business paid for many of the unplanned expenditures (like the fence I had hoped not to have to build immediately after moving in, the patio cover and the much needed cement patio!) when we bought our first home in the 80’s.

A couple of days ago, I made another tough decision that I believe will also come to be the “door opening event” for the next step for another passion in my life.  It is the passion of the Ministry calling that God placed on my life close to 40 years ago.  On Tuesday I choose to obey that small still voice on the inside and resign from my position as an Associate Pastor with oversight of the Children’s Ministry at our church.  With the different iterations of our church over the years, I have held that position along with other responsibilities for the various Pastors I have served for approximately 23 years.  Saying it was a gut-wrenching decision would be putting it mildly!  But to be perfectly honest though, it was the obvious decision that we had to make if we were to continue to follow the plan God had given to us after we completed Bible School in 2008.

With the onset of my wife’s increasing health concerns, our original plans after Bible School had changed.  Instead of moving to a small town north of where we were from in California to pioneer a new church, we believed that God was instructing us to return to our hometown  to #1) regroup with our network of family, friends and church, #2) to continue to pursue the diagnosis of my wife’s needs in order to get a name for the malady in order to take our Biblical stand of faith against it (see Ephesians 1:21 and Philippians 2:9-11), #3) and then establish our spiritual defense as well as a medical course of action.  Then when that was all accomplished to #4) find out what the next step for us was and to follow it.

Over this last year we completed the first three steps in the plan and I had been praying restlessly for many months as to what we needed to do.  My wife’s extremely rough day last week forced my hand in the decision.  So now here we are looking squarely at the front door of the fourth part of the plan that God had set before us over three years ago.  I held my quivering hand over the enter button on my keyboard before I sent that official email record of my resignation to my Pastor for many minutes before I followed through.  After sending it off I was awash with questioning thoughts about our future.  Although my actions felt right, the feelings of uncertainty still persisted until later in the evening when I received a reassuring and encouraging phone call from my youngest daughter.

Out of all the kids, I think our youngest is most in tune to my deepest passions and desires for ministry.  We had spent many hours in deep conversation when we first moved to Oklahoma.  Initially these talks centered on my following the call to ministry and her negative reactions to it.  In later months they revolved around her change of heart and the burning desire for ministry that the Lord was developing in her.  I had text her earlier that day to tell her of my decision to resign.  Before retiring that night she felt led to call me.  Her words brought tears to my eyes and a fresh reassurance from the throne room of God that I was doing the right thing.

So what’s next?  I really don’t know!  I awoke the last two mornings with a strong sense of peace and excitement that I haven’t felt for years.  While I have my own thoughts and ideas, I know that I have to stay patient and sensitive to His leadings.  We have come a long ways and I definitely don’t want to make a wrong turn now!  For the time being we’ll stay put and see what He has in mind.  What I do know, is that He only has GOOD things in mind, and I am highly EXPECTANT of being in the right place at the right time in order to do the things that He is calling us to do.

Like I said, God is a GOOD GOD!  If you haven’t done it yet, go ahead and be like me and throw all your EXPECTATIONS in His court and see what GOOD things He also has in store for you!  Have a Great day.  Stay in tune to His Word and keep asking yourself… “What GOOD THINGS am I expecting today?”