Silence Is Golden

Yesterday afternoon my wife and I went over to my folk’s new residence and spent some time visiting with them.  My brother was also there and together we all had a good time.  I brought a gift of two large artichokes from their garden for them to enjoy.  We had picked them when we where at their house watering the yard on the previous day.  I had cooked them and gave them to my Mom with a small container of mayonnaise so that they could still enjoy the fruits of their home harvest.

As we said our goodbyes and proceeded to walk down the long well lit and furnished hallway on our way to the lobby, we passed by a lady who works at the facility.  Now, there are certain people that my wife just seems to be drawn to, and as we came around a bend and approached this lady I just knew immediately that my wife was going to stop and engage her.  Sure enough, Piper made a beeline for her said “hello” and reached out to touch her.  The women responded in kind and put her arm around my wife.  Then it happened…

The lady smiled very sweetly, took a glance my way and then looked at Piper and asked if she was coming to live there.  (I recently learned that they also have a building on their campus for dementia patients.)  Well, while I realize that it was just an innocent question,  the gal might just as well hit me across the face with the large notebook that she was carrying in her hand!  The shock and the reality of that statement after what we had been through over the last week or so felt like getting hit with a brick!  I quickly recovered though, laughed and gently stated “No!” and that we were there to visit my folks.  The lady then blushed, looked at me with her eyes a little wide and said “Oh!”  I then joked that Piper was with me, said goodbye to the worker and headed for the sign out sheet in the lobby.

Later that evening when I was in the kitchen preparing dinner for us, I suddenly heard a scream.  I literally dropped whatever was in my hand and ran into the bedroom where I had last seen my wife.  She was sitting happily on the bed and laughed as she must have seen the expression of terror on my face.  I then became aware that the scream that I had heard was from a group of children who been playing outside our house!  With that I slumped to my knees before my wife and laughingly exclaimed, “I thought you were in trouble!”  Then all the pent up emotions inside me burst forth and I had all I could do to hold then in some semblance of check!  After a few minutes I was able to get back up and went to pick up the mess that I had made on the kitchen floor.

This morning as I was reading through the first chapter of the book of James, I came to verse 19 and read: “Remember this, my dear brothers and sisters: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and should not get angry easily.”  (God’s Word ©)  That statement immediately brought back to my mind the incident at the Assisted Living Facility from the previous day, along with every other indiscriminate comment that people had made to me over the last 3-5 years!  It would seem to me that most of us tend to do just the opposite of what James was teaching the early Christians in Jerusalem.  In fact I was recently asking the Lord why some people just don’t seem to hear what I am trying to tell them.  From what I have experienced, people tend to be quick to speak, slow to listen and get angry quickly when you don’t agree with what they are saying to you!

And to make matters worse, many of the most insensitive comments that have been made to me have come after I’ve shared some very disheartening news that I had received from our doctors.  It’s almost like the devastation that I was feeling was never even considered when the comment was quickly made back to me.  I am not sure whether it is right or wrong, but there are now certain pieces of information that I will not share with some people no matter how close they are to us on our family tree!

The traumatic experience that we have been living has definitely opened my eyes up to the many careless words that I have uttered in the past.  I have always tried to be sensitive to those that I am speaking with, but there have still been times when I wished I could take back some things that I have said.

There is a song that was written many years ago entitled “Silence is Golden,” and while the actual words of the song don’t really relate to my thoughts here, the title seems to say it all.  James encourages us to “be quick to listen (and) slow to speak.”  I think that it would do each of us much good if we followed his advice.  When you are speaking with another individual (anywhere – in the street, at the store, in church, at work or at a family gathering…) take a few precious moments to listen to your inner voice and then to the one who is actually talking with you before you open your mouth to share your wisdom.  The hurt and emotions that the individual may be holding deep inside are not always visible on the outside.  

That quiet time listening might just be the most well spent moments of your day!  And then again, if you don’t have anything good or encouraging to say, you might just try smiling and keeping your thoughts to yourself.  At times like this, I think that the title to that song is probably the best advice anyone could give...  “Silence Is Golden!”

Have a wonderful and potentially quiet weekend.  Stay in tune to His Word and keep asking yourself… “What am I expecting today?”