Unbridled Emotions

I mentioned in a recent blog that I felt like I was going through some new transitions while re-entering life as a 67-year-old widower.  I remember watching an old episode from the TV series JAG when the young team of crack Navy/Marine lawyers find themselves working, very begrudgingly, with a senior trio of former US Navy Seals.  While the young lawyers constantly complain about the seniors getting in their way, they find themselves repeatedly amazed at the old men’s stamina, determination and skills… even though they perform most of it in a very humorous way!

At the very end of the show after the case is solved and all is well, the leader of the old retirees (played by Earnest Borgnine) tells the young lawyers that although their ages were increasing, their outside appearances changing along with that age and had bodies that didn’t respond quite like they used to… that on the inside, they still thought, felt and acted as they did in their twenties and thirties!

While I can’t say that I think, feel and act like I did in my twenties and thirties, I do tend to see myself a good ten years younger than I actually am!  I blame the upheaval in my inner clock on the fact that life as I knew it changed dramatically when I quit my job in 2010 to care for my wife 24/7.  Somewhere in there, I feel like I lost some major years of my life.  But mind you, I am NOT complaining as I would do the SAME THING with NO questions asked, if faced once again, with similar circumstances. 

I am happy with my decisions, the honor I had to be the one to care for my sweet wife, and the dedicated effort I gave to her final years on this earth.  But I did realize the other night, as I walked around the backyard in the dark while Fiver did his evening thing before bedtime, that I feel very lost without having her to care for, think about and shower with positive attention… Which is something I strove to do for the whole 48 years that we were together.

But what was even worse… was when it came to me that now that she’s in heaven… and with that blessing… that she has NO more need for me!  I mean geez… How can I compete with GOD’s care for her!  I  embarrassingly told my younger daughter the other day when she and my granddaughter came over for dinner, that I found myself fighting jealousy when I read that one of the young men who took Piper to a school dance or two before we got together, passed a few weeks before she did.

He was a Christian and in fact a Pastor, so I am assured that he went to heaven… Yeah… I hear you laughing!  But I did!  I got jealous thinking that she was gonna be around him in heaven while I am struggling along here on the earth!  Well, I quickly saw the folly in that, but I was a little surprised at my initial EMOTIONAL reaction.

And that’s the point I’m trying to convey in today’s post.   Our unbridled EMOTIONS can have a devastating effect on the way we respond to the events in our lives.  Ephesians 4:26-27 wisely tells us to not “let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge, not for even a day.  Don’t give the slanderous accuser, the Devil, an opportunity to manipulate you!” (The Passion Translation)  That particular word of wisdom has been my rock and guiding light as I slowly learn how to accept who I am in this new chapter within this new season of my life.  And let me assure you… that my EMOTIONS have been doing their best to drive me crazy!

I realized after that late-night backyard revelation, that just as the Lord had helped me to keep my EMOTIONS in check during the last years of Piper’s life, by having us focus on the Word, that He is still the same today as He was yesterday, and will be tomorrow! (See Hebrews 13:8).

We personally experienced the harsh effects of the unbridled EMOTIONS of those who found it difficult to accept or respond positively to the changes in my wife… and to be honest… I see those same harsh effects being spilled out through the platform (if that’s what one would call it) of the Democratic party as they pursue a narrative that seems to be based and/or led by unbridled or uncontrolled EMOTIONS.

When you move past the cloud of smoke that is stirred up through these EMOTIONS, the answer to the political problems we see today is the same as in Piper’s case.  It’s a SPIRITUAL problem or battle.  The answer is found through the LOVE of CHRIST, our adherence to His Word, living a life that reflects His kingdom and His Grace and a dedicated effort to take a stand and VOTE for God and His RIGHTEOUSNESS.

I’ve discovered, along with many others through Christian history, that those who come against the principles of God and His Word and lash out to those standing on these truths… are in reality… fighting GOD and not those to whom they spew out their vengeance and harsh words.

So therefore… in my life… while I work through transition times… choose to keep my focus on the Word, to believe it over the so-called FACTS that disagree with what HE says is truth and thereby… keep my EMOTIONS bridled and under control… while allowing HIS LOVE and HIS GRACE to brightly shine through my life!  HOW ABOUT YOU?