JOY and SATISFACTION!

I’ve been thinking a lot about mornings the last week or so.  I’ve noticed that ever since Piper moved her residence to heaven, that I haven’t been getting up with the same drive that I did while she was still here.  I realized as the hot water was beating down on my stiff neck in the shower the other day that my mornings have been… for lack of a better term… sort of blah!  I also realized that “blah” is a real word that describes “something which is boring or without meaningful content.”  (Oxford Online Dictionary)

The thought of being “without meaningful content” sums up my first-thing-in-the-morning attitude rather accurately!  Although, I would think that a grief specialist would most likely say that my morning experiences are normal for someone who has just lost someone close to them.  But you know… it is very unsettling to me because that isn’t normal for me! (to which the grief specialist would again say is normal…)  I’ve always been a smiling, happy to be alive kind of morning guy.  I have always been thankful for Piper’s college dorm roommate who helped to transform Piper from a don’t-talk-to-me- in-the-morning type of person to one who was more receptive to us get-up-and-go types!

Psalm 30:5 tells us that although “weeping” – or wailing aloud… which I’ve experienced lately… “may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.” (MKJV)  Then there is Psalm 90:14 where the Psalmist declares, “Satisfy me in the morning (O Lord) with your steadfast love, that I may rejoice and be glad all of my days.” (ESV – personalized)  These two verses give me hope… but I am still waiting to get even a small sense of that morning JOY and/or SATISFACTION!

I wrote in my “Piper’s Story” journal yesterday morning as I was studying these morning scriptures that, ”I am looking forward to and am expecting JOY and that uncanny sense of SATIFACTION to come back into my mornings,  like the times I would wake up to the coastal sunshine streaming in through our window at the Fort Ross Lodge on the northern California coast with Piper at my side and a warmth of happiness flowing throughout my whole being.”

Earlier this morning as I re-looked at these portions of the Word, I felt the Lord speaking to my heart telling me that He now wants to be that SATISFACTION and source of JOY anytime, anywhere, and in any situation for me!  As I pondered that statement I started to understand that would be like getting a product directly from the manufacturer… without the middleman… or in my case… the middle women = Piper!  Does that make sense?  I believe that our Father God does use people close to our hearts to be fountains of His love and grace, but when they are no longer in the picture, it would make sense to go directly to Him and allow Him to set up your future.

Except for my sweet Piper, I’ve always had a difficult time allowing (and or trusting) certain people to reach out to me.  Like many of you, I’ve had both distant and recent experiences that sort of sealed the deal on that personal reaction.  But I do admit that I’ve had some terrific individuals in both California and out here, as well as our great hospice team over the last year and a half that certainly worked to softened my heart!

So, in many ways I am excited to see what and how the new path will unfold before me.  Will there ever be JOY and SATISFACTION again in my mornings?  I don’t doubt it at all… the only frustrating part is that I want it NOW… but then again, I realize that there is a process of time that must first take place for me to be ready to receive all that the Father has for me…as there are things that I need to let go of, different things I need to gain and many new things that I need to learn along the way, as I progress into this new chapter of my life!

And so, a new week begins!  I am looking forward to it!  How about you?  Have a great week ahead, and as you do, say with me… “I am expecting to see some JOY and SATISACTION enter in to parts of my life today!”