What's Inside?

I was thinking the other morning that my wife never lost her sense of humor throughout her long illness that resulted in her passing onto glory about two months ago.  If someone asked me to characterize Piper, I would say without any hesitation that it was her joyful countenance, her engaging smile, that special gleam in her eyes and of course, her encouraging words.

I had a few folks in the early stages of our journey warn me that with this disease, it would not be unusual for her demeanor to change at any time and turn violent.  These individuals based their concerns on family or friends who had or had heard of a loving parent or spouse who suddenly struck out at a caregiver.  I have to confess that I probably wasn’t very sensitive to these concerned remarks as each time I heard similar comments I would automatically burst out laughing.  Once I got ahold of myself, I always tried to backtrack and calmly declare that they definitely didn’t know my wife!

I would go on to explain that after being together since high school, that I had a pretty good idea of what was inside of her!  I had an intimate knowledge of the amount of God’s Word that she absorbed on a daily basis, of her history of faith stands during difficult times and of her well-honed default mechanisms of joy that seemed to click on whenever fear, doubt or unbelief attempted to invade her or our family’s life. 

It wasn’t like I was trying to be a smart aleck or anything like that… it’s just that I KNEW what made my wife tick and the fear that might cause her to react in a violent behavior had absolutely no place in her life!  (Although I do recall the time very early in our marriage, when she threw a spatula at me across the kitchen… but I think I deserved that one… and we did have a pretty good laugh afterwards… especially since I had to clean up the pancake batter that was all over the floor!)

A few examples of her response of joy would be when I received a couple of calls from the local police department when Piper got lost in Oklahoma and again when back in California.  While in Oklahoma one afternoon, she dropped me off to work and then went to drive back home.  I got a little concerned when she didn’t call me to let me know that she had gotten home safely.  Instead, after a prolonged time I received a call at work from a not-too-happy female officer of the Broken Arrow police department saying that they had Piper in a neighborhood that I was not too familiar with.

It turns out that Piper took a wrong turn on the way home and got lost, so she stopped and knocked on someone’s door who immediately freaked out and called the police!  Well, I got a ride from a wonderful Christian coworker at the store I was working at and as we drove into the neighborhood, we spotted a police car, a fire truck, a fire rescue vehicle and an ambulance surrounding Piper and our little blue Mazda.  When I jogged up to the car with concern written all over my face, Piper simply sat there with a cute and carefree smile on her face!

The incident in Santa Rosa was somewhat similar except that Piper went out to chase the dog who had run out the front door when her Mom came over to pick her up for a church prayer meeting while I was at work in a Home Depot store about an hour away.  To make a long and complicated story short, while out chasing the dog, Piper got lost again but had the presence of mind to flag down a passing police car. 

So… you guessed it.  I got another call from a not-too-happy policeman who kept wanting to take her to the hospital to which I kept explaining her situation and letting him know that I would soon be on the scene.  (By then I was already on the way home as I had previously received another call from a neighbor who had caught our dog!)  Well, he baulked at my requests and to my dismay, called an ambulance.  When I finally got to the hospital, I had to pay our $150.00 co-pay before I was allowed into the examination room. 

As I walked into the room, there was my wife sitting on the edge of the bed, with that same cute and carefree smile on her face!  As it happened, the two nurses in the room with her were also smiling and explained (in agreement with me) that there was really nothing they could do as she was already under our doctor’s care and that her behavior was inline with the effects of the encroaching disease.  The supervising nurse was also kind enough to talk to the admissions desk and get them to remove the charge from my debit card!

Piper’s expressions and quiet displays of inner joy never left her up and through the final hours of her life as I sat at her side and looked deeply into her beautiful brown eyes.  In those final moments I could still see the light and the life that emanated from her expectancy in the truth of God’s Word working in, for and through her.  It was that unshakable trust in Him throughout her 65 years of life that ignited the joy that just seemed to ooze from her very being.

In speaking of Jesus, the Apostle John, who was known as the Apostle of love, tells us that “In him was life; and the life was the light of men.” (KJV)  Piper’s heart and constant outward appearances of JOY was founded on and never wavered from the light and life of Jesus.  Even after she lost her ability to speak, Piper still managed to smile at those who loved on her.  So yeah… what do I think of when I think of my wonderful wife?  First and foremost, it was her unbounded JOY in the midst of just about any situation that she faced in life!  And that is another part of her legacy that I endeavor to continue through my life.

Have a great and joyful week, and as you do, say along with me… “I am expecting to let His joy shine through my life today!”