Observations of a Cooper's Hawk!

I just came in the house from playing ball and chasing after Fiver, and let me tell you that my face feels like its frozen!  It is currently 30 degrees with a very slight breeze, but in the sun it really doesn’t feel that cold… until you stop moving!  It was 22 degrees when I first got up this morning, so it has warmed up a bit and is promising to get all the way up to the mid-forties later this afternoon!  Sounds like it will be just about the same as yesterday’s weather.  But don’t worry… I am still wearing my shorts, although that pattern will most likely change with Piper’s absence in the house.

When she was here and immobile, I kept the house pretty warm both summer and winter in order to keep her comfortable.  Her comfort though, meant that I was usually hot and so I wore shorts all year round!  But so far this fall, I have been enjoying keeping the house temperature down and wearing all those warm tops that I haven’t worn for years!

When we first had our oldest son Josh, Piper used to call me “heater man” and would hand the restless baby over to me to hold as my warm body would usually cause him to relax and fall asleep!  Ah!  Another fond memory.  Seems like I’ve had an endless supply of those lately… especially throughout the day yesterday.

I was actually a little glad when I turned in early last night.  It meant that I could put my first Thanksgiving without my wife in 48 years behind me.  It was a rough day that I didn’t quite expect to turn out as it did.  With the effects of the Alzheimer’s slowly stealing her physical abilities, Piper and I hadn’t actually had an interactive Holiday Season since our days in Oklahoma ten years ago.  What I am now beginning to realize over these last 2/12 months since her home going, is the power that her physical presence had in my life… talking, walking or not!

So, yesterday’s surprises started early.  I woke up at 5:30 AM and just couldn’t get back to sleep!  Once I finally dragged myself out of bed, I meandered over to my “Piper Picture Wall,” zeroed in on one particular print, wished her a happy Thanksgiving… and fell apart!  The grief books I’ve been reading call it a “grief spasm” or being “ambushed by grief.”  Whatever you call it… they sure pop up unexpectedly!  Like almost every time I’ve gone grocery shopping at Walmart without her!  We went to that particular store a lot and I guess it still holds many memories to me!

Well that top-of-the-morning event was the beginning of many such experiences throughout the day.  Piper and I loved to entertain and I couldn’t help but bring to my mind all the times that we had her extended family over for Thanksgiving dinners and fellowship.  I was telling our younger son Jeremy on the phone yesterday, that his Mom enjoyed just about every aspect of the event, from the mad rush to clean the whole house the day before, the food preparation and cooking in the kitchen, to bouncing around the house playing the part of the perfect hostess as she aimed to make everyone feel comfortable, happy and at home throughout the day’s activities.

Then there were the times yesterday when the day seemed to slow to a crawl and all I could do was think about how lonely I felt without her at my side!  I took Fiver out back many times throughout the day to play ball with him… and that activity seemed to help my emotions immensely.  At one point late in the afternoon as the shadows were falling deeply from the trees surrounding our property, I stood quietly in the middle of the yard watching Fiver sniff around, when I suddenly caught a glimpse of our neighborhood Cooper’s Hawk flying magnificently amongst the tall trees.  As he flew across the back and landed in the top of a tree in the commons area next our home, I stood at awe and meditated on the glory of God’s plan for mankind… and in particular for me!

That experience brought a scripture that I had recently read to mind.  It is found in Job 42:5 where Job told the Lord that “I had heard about you with my own ears, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.”   I am not sure if you’ve ever seen a Cooper’s Hawk fly, but they don’t fly like an ordinary bird.  When they first take off from a perch they’ll tend to swing down toward the ground, take a few slow majestic flaps of their big wings and then simply glide across their path.  The whole thing is stunning to observe and seems to be performed in slow-motion!

As I watched him float throughout the tree canopy, I could only think about how, even though I have no idea as to the what’s, where’s, who’s or when’s… that I have seen the Lord work countess miracles in Piper’s and my life throughout the years and just know that even if He seems to be working in slow-motion, that He isn’t about to change now… and that gave me a lot of hope in the middle of yesterday’s hopelessness!

In a commentary of 2 Corinthians 4:15 where it declares that, “as God's grace reaches more and more people, they will offer to the glory of God more prayers of thanksgiving,” John Wesley noted that “Thanksgiving invites more: abundant grace.”   And I am beginning to sense that prayers and confessions of THANKSGIVING is something that I need to be majoring in about now in my life!  With all the confusion attacking me… some abundant grace would be really sweet and calming! 

What do you think?  I bet it would be good for you as well!

Have a great holiday weekend, and as you do, say with me… “I am expecting to be filled with God’s abundant grace as I give Thanks unto Him today!”