My Eyes!

Like I mentioned in my last post, you never know when a memory or a particular point is going to come to mind…  This morning I stood at the kitchen counter putting the cover back on a can of dog food as I had begun to add a teaspoon of soft food in with Fiver’s Pro Plan hard dog food in order to enhance his appetite just before Piper passed.  He must have sensed the upcoming change in her and stopped eating a few days before the event and then afterwards I just continued with the added treat.  But anyway, while I fumbled with the Saran Wrap it suddenly hit me that the last person that Piper saw before she left this realm was me!

I had been absentmindedly thinking about her eyes and how although the rest of her looked pretty ragged on the last day of her life because of the terrible effects of the disease on her body, that her eyes continued to shine bright and were full of life.  I also recalled that she left her eyes open when she moved to heaven.

I am not exactly sure how, but I had a strong sense that she was going to leave us that day.  Her breathing had begun to become irregular and strained the day before and by the next day we were increasing the dosage and frequency of the morphine.  I had pretty much spent the entire day in her room at her side with the kids and then that night around 12:30 after the kids went to bed, I sat down on the floor next to her, drew close, put my head on her hand and talked gently to her while I gazed into her eyes.

I don’t remember the exact timing now, but I sat there until around 5:00 AM when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and felt that it was okay to lay down for a few moments.  I left the lights on and the classical radio station playing softly in the background because I wanted her to know that she was not alone.  I stretched out on our bed next to her hospital bed for about 20 minutes to a half hour and awoke with a start.  When I rolled over to look at her, I noticed immediately that she was gone.  The bright light and life in her eyes was glassed over.  And I had perfect peace and joy about it.

It wasn’t until this morning at the counter that I realized that she must have left her eyes open for a reason.  With heartfelt pounding within my chest I understood that she did it for me!  You have to understand… We all realized pretty quickly (including the hospice team) that Piper and the Lord were in complete control of the timing of when she would leave us.  I was pretty certain that she was going to be gone when our two older children arrived a little over a week before she actually passed.   They were on a plane and at the Raleigh airport within a day of my call to them.  But as I sat next to Piper in the living room awaiting their car to drive up, Piper’s breathing became very shallow and in fact, I thought she stopped breathing on more than one occasion.

But it became obvious that she had other plans as she rebounded back many times in the days that followed.  It seemed like she had a plan and was going to see it through… just like she did throughout her life as wife, Mom, teacher, musician and minister of the Gospel.  And I believe that she left her eyes open and locked on me to let me know that she loved me until the very end of her existence in this realm.  I also believe that it was her way of thanking me for taking care of her in her greatest time of need.

What more can I say except, when you think about it, it is very similar to the revelation that Jesus always has His eyes on those of us that He loves!  The writer of the book of Hebrews encourages us with the assurance of God’s words to us saying that, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you, (so) we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; (therefore) I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?” (Hebrews 13:5 The Message)

And where should our own eyes spend their time you might ask… Well, the Apostle Paul answered that one for us when he bluntly wrote, “Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.  Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life.” (Colossians 3:2-3 The Message) 

So… even though she’s been gone for 5 months and 13 days… but whose counting… Piper is still leaving lessons behind!  I get the impression from the Word of God (& my wife!) that where we put our eyes is of utmost importance in our lives… as well as to that of the lives of those around us.

Okay, I get it.  I know where my eyes are going to focus!  How about your eyes?

Have a great rest of the week, and as you do, say along with me… “I am expecting my eyes to be in the position of looking up and alert to what is going on around Christ!”