Piper's Words...

I’ve was talking to a wonderful neighbor of ours a couple of afternoons ago when she brought Fiver and I some homemade beef and vegetable soup and three rather large slices of her fresh cornbread.  She was the first of the neighbors that came over to introduce herself to Piper and I after we moved in three years ago and made a regular point to come over to sit and talk with Piper and on occasion, take the dog for a walk!

When she came by the other day we got to talking about her family.  I had given her Piper’s fancy multi-faceted, totally adjustable and reclining wheelchair to try with her 90 something year old retired minister father who lives in Georgia with her sister.  So, while she gave me a report on how that was going, she also spoke of her deceased mother who she termed as the real “glue” in their family.

Well that, of course, got me to thinking about Piper and I mentioned how I believe that Piper definitely played that role in our immediate family as well as with her extended one.  She was often times the initiator of laughter and the purveyor of a joyful atmosphere.  During family gatherings she had a way to calm a testy comment or an uncomfortable and/or depressing room with a flash of that contagious smile of hers, her quick wit or with a scripture based encouraging word.  She also had the amazing talent to calmly multitask through a variety of events happening all at the same time.  Her ability to perform all these giftings was sorely evident and missed as the effects of the Alzheimer’s progressed in her.

I came across an interesting notation in that old NASB Bible of Piper’s that I discovered the other day.  It was a definition of “Depression” that she must have written down at a church service long ago.  She penned that “Depression is a spirit of grief – grieving about the fear of losing something.”  This was followed by a short paragraph explaining some of the inside and outside emotions that are felt or expressed by individuals dealing with depression.

As I sat in the La-Z-Boy chair in the living room reading from the page in the back of her Bible, I suddenly felt a light go on in my head.  Her explanation perfectly summed up many of the responses we came into contact with from my wife’s troubling news after we returned home from Bible School and the eleven years since then.  It also was a testimony of the power of faith in God’s Word when it comes to not being moved by the physical symptoms of disease that present themselves.

I was thinking out loud yesterday (I do this a lot lately… and get the strangest looks from the dog!) that although the conclusion of our stand of faith may not have resulted in the exact results we were hoping for*, it was our total focus on God and His Word that kept us strong, kept us going forward to make the right decisions that needed to be made on a regular basis, kept us joyfully expectant of God’s best and probably most of all… gave me the ability to get up each morning with a smile and the physical and emotional zeal to push on even when I was WAY beyond exhaustion!  Because of my dependence on Him, my promise to her that I would take care of her, in our home, to the very end… NEVER WAINED!

So once again, Piper is still talking to me in her physical absence with notes written in the back of her Bible in the early 1990’s!  While others may have given in to the effects of grief at a very early stage of her sickness and gradually became more sullen and angry, while withdrawing away from contact with us, we chose to cast our lot in with the truth, joy and expectation of God’s Word instead of what our physical eyes may have been seeing at any given time.

When you think about it… We really didn’t have much choice on the matter.  We HAD to move forward, we had a job to accomplish and the ONLY way I saw to do it was with an unmovable trust in Papa God and the faithfulness of His Word…  Kinda like I believe the Lord was speaking personally to my heart this morning as I read where it is written in Revelation 21:5, “Then the one who sits on the throne said, "And now I make all things new (Jim)!" He also said to me, "Write this, because these words are true and can be trusted." (GNB)  Well… We trusted Him and His Words were proven true!

Like I said, My Piper is gone… but she continues to speak to me!  Have a great rest of the week.  I’m off to the dentist and a deep clean, whoopee!  But I’ll be sure to say… and you could say with me as well… “I am expecting God’s TRUE and TRUSTED Words that I am standing on today, to come into evidence in my life!”

*The truth be known… we really did receive the EXACT results we were believing for as Piper is totally healed and whole today, completely set free from any and all the complications of Alzheimer’s and is rejoicing in glory with Jesus!  What more could I have asked for?

A Books of Memories

After Piper and I purchased our home out here in North Carolina and moved in, I had high hopes and plans for the corner front room that we had decided to turn into our study.  The room belonged to the young son of the former owners and they had added some accents to the room that I liked and decided to keep.  The walls were a bright blue with white trim.  In one corner they painted on a blackboard so the boy could draw or write notes and the whole room seemed to come together with a bright multicolored fan light.

Since the long window in the room was framed in white, I added floor to ceiling white bookshelves on either side and then moved in my desk and file cabinets.  I decorated the walls with framed pictures of various ministry events, vacations Piper and I took, and of course my favorite 11X14 formal outdoor portrait I had taken of my fiancé two months before our wedding.  I also added a couple of my college diplomas, and various plaques we had received over the years from our service with different youth groups as-well-as our first-place plaque from a fun car rally we had participated in at college.  I was also able to display my fledgling camera collection of almost all the cameras I have owned since high school.

With the ever-expanding role that I had to take with Piper’s care though, I hardly ever got to spend much time in the room, except for a few opportunities when I brought Piper in and read to her during the cold winter months.  Since I had put our old leather loveseat in the room, it seemed to have a warm and cozy feel to it.  My ultimate plan was to move our TV from the living room into the study and upgrade to a 55” flat screen for the home entertainment system there.

Now that I am alone in the house (save for Fiver our Australian Shepherd mix), I have had more occasion to do things in the room.  Sometimes I just go in and sit quietly in the desk chair and stare at the walls as I reminisce about the special events in our lives that are represented by the pictures and plaques.  Yesterday morning I placed my laptop on the desk, plugged in the external speakers, sat on the couch and proceeded to participate in the live-stream service from our home church in Oklahoma.

While sitting there, I leaned over at one point during the sermon to grab one of my 50 plus Bible translations off the shelves next to me.  As I was deciding which one to use, my eyes fell upon two of Piper’s old Bibles.  The first was a 1974 paperback youth version of the new-at-the-time illustrated Living Bible entitled “The Way” given to her a year before we were married by one of the women’s circles at her Baptist Church.  That instantly brought back A LOT of good memories as it was the “hot” translation for us young people at the time!  I had gotten a copy for myself and the two of us practically NEVER left home without them!  I was surprised at what good shape Piper’s copy was in!  The last time I saw mine it was looking pretty worn out!

For a while there, it seemed like Piper’s Bible’s tended to have a rough life!  For years she liked to set her Bible down on the butcher block coffee table we bought with some financial gifts we had received from our wedding.  That table was one of our prized possessions (and one of the most expensive for many years!) and it still graces our living room today!  The only problem with her leaving the book on the table was that the first two Shelties we had LOVED to eat them!  One was totally destroyed while the new one purchased to replace it had the cover and a few pages chewed before Piper took the hint and stored her Bible on a higher location!

The book I found yesterday was the third one that replaced the chewed cover book!  I had bought her a smaller sized, blue NASB leather bond Bible sometime in the early 1990’s for Christmas but as it turns out, she wasn’t too happy with the color, so we exchanged it for the burgundy model that was on the shelf in the study.  This one wasn’t chewed over the years, but it does show A LOT of wear and tear from hours and hours of usage!   She had switched over to a King James Rhema Study Bible that we all purchased for her around 2001 and this Bible was delegated to special study times.

I enjoyed looking through the pages of the book while sitting there on the couch.  So much history!  She loved to underline favorite verses and write notes in the margins.  And while I always carried a note book with me when attending church services, Piper tended to use whatever she could find from the church bulletin, to scraps of paper in her purse or the back and front pages of her Bible… occasionally she would quietly lean over me and gently rip out a sheet of paper from my notebook and then give me that killer smile of hers.  What could I say, I could NEVER resist that smile!

Anyway… I think I am beginning to ramble.  One of the lessons I learned from looking through her Bibles though, was the love and respect we both have had for our personal Bibles.  They’ve always been like a good friend to us!  As I read her notations, it was like I was reading her!  Like I have said many times, the Word of God and Piper were intermixed so closely that when you looked at her you saw God’s Word speaking through her.

Psalm 119:9 seems to sum up Piper’s life to a tee when the Psalmist declared “How can a young person keep his life pure? He can do it by holding on to your word.” (God’s Word ©) That was my wife… full of life, full of God and full of Godly expectation that she freely passed on to others just by walking into the room!  That’s a part of her legacy that I want to continue!

Have a great week.  Remember to get out and vote here in the USA, and when you think about it, say with me: “I am expecting to let the life of God flow through me today!”

Nothing’s Too Difficult!

It’s been exactly two months today since my beloved Piper moved on to heaven.  In many respects I feel like I have made great strides in processing the myriad of emotional, spiritual and even physical reactions that I have had with her passing.  Then on the other hand… there are days… in fact many of them… when I feel like things have gotten worse instead of better!

From everything I have been reading as well as with the knowledgably individuals that I have been talking with, none of my experiences are unusual though.  It is just a very strange time of life for me!  Most everything around me is in upheaval.  I also realized that since we left our home in California to go to Bible College in Oklahoma in the summer of 2006, that everything that we had depended on to be the norm in our lives changed!

The books and articles on the Grief process that I have been devouring also talk a lot about what it takes to re-enter your old normal life after the loss of a special loved one.  But it dawned on me that I don’t have an “old normal” life to go back to!  So, everything since two months ago, is going to be “something new”* for me!  Talk about upheavals!

As I was about to turn the light out last night, I got out of bed and walked the five feet to the wall by the bathroom door and with a deep pain in my heart, quietly stared at the approximately 40 pictures that I stapled to the wall a few years back that depict Piper from our dating days into the 2000’s.  When I began to get overwhelmed with emotions, I turned back to the bed, took a step and suddenly thought that instead of being sad, that I need to be thanking God for the 48 wonderful years that I had with her!  I couldn’t help to cry aloud as I plopped down on the bed that “I’ve got to be one of the most blest men in the whole world because of the time the Lord gave me with her!

Another thought that caught my attention in that moment of reminiscing, is that Piper and I started our relationship during the first week of school in September of 1970 and ended it (at least on this earth!) during the first week of September in 2018.  I thought that was pretty special… what do you think?

With all these thoughts and many others along those same lines bubbling up in me, the Lord has been encouraging me for the last few days with a scripture promise found in the book of Isaiah, chapter 43, verse 19.  Speaking through the Prophet a few thousand yeas ago, the Lord keeps telling me that: *“I am going to do something new. It is already happening. Don't you recognize it? I will clear a way in the desert. I will make rivers on dry land.” (God’s Word ©)

The word “recognize” in this version is written in the Greek translation of the Old Testament as “ginosko” which describes a very intimate knowing of someone or something.  Therefore, it would seem that the Lord keeps impressing on me the need in this most unsettling time, to stay intimately connected with Him through His Word and prayer.

The phrase “clear a way” speaks of making “progress” each day, little by little.  Another way to define it is that He is building a new “road” for me with gradual “progress” being made each day, as the old landmarks that defined my past life are removed and new ones are being built.

That tells me that this is not going to happen overnight… or in a few months… or even in a few years.  But His Word does assure me that IT IS HAPPENING!  And that gives me a strong support to hold on to as my world continues to shake, while new firm foundations are being constructed for my new world and my new identity in that world.

I also continue to know that if He is doing all that for me… that He’s most likely doing it for you as well… no matter how difficult the need or situation may be!  Remember, according to Genesis 18:14 the Lord Himself declared: “I am the LORD! There is nothing too difficult for me.” (CEV)

So, have a firm, well-founded-on-Him and His Word type of weekend!  That’s my aim and I hope it is yours as well!  And while you're at it, confess with me… “I am expecting my God to hold true to His promises for me!”

Psychedelics?

One of the reasons I had gotten a checkup at the doctor’s last week was to see if he could give me something to help me sleep through the night.  I haven’t really slept good for years with everything going on with Piper as I was usually up multiple times a night checking on her.  Then with her passing, I now find myself falling right to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow only to wake up throughout the night and not being able to close my eyes again for an hour or more each time!

So, I got a prescription and he told me to call him if there were any problems.  I took the pills for a week but still found myself waking throughout the night, although maybe not as often.  Then I started having some of the weirdest dreams as well as flushing during the day!  Therefore, I called in yesterday and he sent another prescription to my pharmacy. 

When I got the text from the store, Fiver and I drove out to town and the CVS car pick-up window.  Then we returned home where I put together some lunch.  While I ate, I decided to read the fact sheet on the new drug… and Wow!  Piper and I might have been children of the 60’s and ‘70’s but we never did the drug scene!  The potential side-effects and warning label on this prescription read like something you would have heard at a speech on psychedelic drugs by the late clinical psychologist Timothy Leary!  Sleep walking, sleep driving, memory loss, drowsiness, dizziness, feeling like you’ve been drugged, flushing, panic attacks, nausea… and the list goes on and on!

Well… needless to say, that caught my attention!  I looked over at the dog sitting on the floor next to me and burst out laughing!  All I could say was “Whoa!  Whoa!  I definitely ain’t gonna touch that stuff!”  After reading that information, I figured that I would rather miss a few hours sleep than feel like I was lost in space.

That whole eye-opening adventure got me to thinking about the basic truths of scriptures like Proverbs 3:5 where we are encouraged to “Trust the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.” (God’s Word ©)  In our daily walk it is way too easy to forget the simplicity of the Word and ho it intricately intertwines with every facet of our lives… if we allow it to!

An important fact of what I went through with the attack on the health of the one most dear to me on all the earth, was the importance of staying focused on the answer.  What answer you might ask?  The answer to what medical science declared about Piper’s situation and all the effects it would have on the caregiver, their finances and just about every other area of their lives touched by such a catastrophic event?  Or, the answer given throughout the New Testament epistles as given to those who have yielded their lives to Jesus Christ and take hold of all that He provided for them as described by the Pauline Revelation?

Since Piper’s homegoing, I have been spending a lot of time looking back over the last ten years, and I continually find myself amazed at the amount of concentration God gave us in order to stayed hooked on what we believed to be the truth in the Word of God and not be distracted by the worlds view of our situation.  And I am even more amazed when I take an actual inventory of all the ways that God prepared us for such a challenge.

I’ve thought about the different physical moves around the country, Bible College, strong Word teaching churches, new friends and renewed acquaintances with extended family members who took the time to get to know, care for and personally minister to Piper and I in the midst of their own busy lives.  And then there were the various doctors in three different states as well as all the other medical professionals who may not have always understood us but nevertheless acknowledged the validity of our beliefs and our stand of faith.  Then of course, there were all those unknown individuals who stopped us in the store, in various parking lots, and along the sidewalks of town to give an encouraging word, reach out and touch Piper or even ask if they could help me to maneuver Piper in and out of the car.  I’ve learned that God is always there for us as long as we stay there for Him! 

Yesterday’s incident with the sleeping pills helped me to come back to what helped us through the last chapter of our lives.  It’s all about a dependence and trust in Him and not some chemical substance or worldly way to deal with the tough times in life.  I’m not saying that there aren’t things out there that can help along the way of life… I just want to make sure that HE is the one telling me what to do and not my own understanding of the situation or that of someone else’s who is not really in tune to our needs and/or the things of God concerning us!

Have you ever been there?  Well… I for one, choose to make sure that I am still focusing on the Word and God’s directions for me as I have ended one large and long chapter of my life and enter into a new one!

Have a great rest of the week, and as you do, say with me… “I am expecting to continue to follow God’s Word and His plan for my life!”

Is It Time to Let Go?

Whew!  I just took Fiver for our first post-Piper walk down the neighborhood lane.  Along the way we met another neighbor walking her little black Dachshund, a Fed-X delivery van and a rather large red and white garbage truck… and Fiver did pretty good with those distractions.  It’s walking down the road in between the distractions that is going to take some more work though! 

He tends to get excited and pull when he is on the leash, so I got him a Rabbitgoo No-Pull Pet Harness… and yep… that really is the name of the brand!  It goes around his chest and attaches on his sides with a hook for the leash on the front as well as on the top/back.  The idea is that with the leash attached to the front hook, the dog won’t pull for when he attempts to do so, he will be turned sideways!  And it actually seemed to work.  What I noticed though, is that once he gets going on my left side, he tends to lean into me because the harness is leading him that way… and if I don’t watch out it would be easy for me to get tripped up with him!  So, we’ve got training ahead… for both of us!  

It was quite enjoyable to be outside in the early morning hour with the 50 some degrees of sun shining down on the country road, the dew reflecting like little diamonds on the grass and the birds singing their morning tunes… which if you listened closely, I think you’d hear a Southern Gospel twang to their chirps!

Okay… so maybe I’m joking about the Southern Gospel part, but anyway you look at it, as I walked along I couldn’t help but think that it was a beautiful day to be alive!  That is EXACTLY the way I like to start my day… how about you?

But as I’ve mentioned in past blog posts, since Piper moved on to glory almost two months ago now, mornings have been a little rough for me.  Rough in the sense that I haven’t felt like I have a real purpose to get up for without her.  It is not like I sit around the house feeling sorry for myself all day as I have always been sort of a determined and principled individual who likes to set goals and pursue them, so I always have something to do… its just that my days haven’t had that same pizzazz without that one special person with whom I have spent almost everyday with for the last 48 years… give or take a few work/ministry conventions or men’s conferences.

But that’s where scriptures like Psalm 118:24 come into play for me.  Here the psalmist encourages us by declaring: “This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”  (KJV)  On those days when I haven’t had much motivation to get out of bed this scripture has been like Piper reaching over and shaking me while saying “Put a smile on your face and get up lazy-bones… we got stuff to do today, and rejoice about it!”

Now that kind of morning encouragement would get me up fast, complete with a good attitude!  She would give me a physical nudge to get my body moving in the right direction, and an earful of joyfully funny words to make me believe that everything we did that day was going to be a happy experience.

The Psalmist also gives us a nudge that affects our physical beings when he tells us to “rejoice” for if you recall, in the original languages, that word is describing the physical action of “spinning around” or “jumping for joy!”  So, the Lord is telling us through the Psalmist who penned the verse, to “get yourself up and spin around… whether you feel like it or not!”  And you know… I did that this morning and almost tripped over the dog who was laying in his bed at my feet!  But it did make me feel better (especially after the spinning in my head subsided…) and a little more excited for the new day ahead!

Then the Lord looks to our inner man by encouraging us to “rejoice” which literally means “to brighten up” or “to put (yourself) into a good frame of mind.”  So, you see… The Lord knows exactly what we need in the morning… especially when the weather outside is not nearly as conducive as it was to me today!

Have you ever finally given into doing something that you really weren’t comfortable with and were thankful afterwards that you did?  When Piper and I entered into the Charismatic Movement back in the seventies and early eighties, I wasn’t all that sure about all the activity that went on during the Praise and Worship parts of the services that we were beginning to frequent on a regular basis.  I was all into the raising of my hands, clapping and even swaying my body to the beat… but the jumping up and down, laughing or running around the room was a bit much for my conservative Catholic background!

And even though I was hungry for more of God and wanted to experience the fulness of what He had for me… I continued to resist for quite awhile even as Piper and I were by then, leading the music teams in many of those meetings.  After awhile we were asked to attend a special Praise and Worship training seminar at a large church in San Jose, California where they taught us music leaders from all over the Bay Area different ways to improve and enjoy the ways in which we presented the Word in song to our congregations.

Then during one of the services as the minister who had personally invited us was teaching on yielding to the Holy Spirit, she began to encourage all of us in attendance to let go of ourselves and to give into Him as the music team ministered to us.  Well, it was one of those times that I began to feel like the Lord was speaking only to me, and not the hundreds of others in that auditorium on that Saturday afternoon!

So… I put aside my pride and began to move… a little hop to begin with… a little laugh now and then… and before you knew it I was dancing in the Spirit before the Lord… and I didn’t care about what anyone else thought (besides they were all dancing in their own ways before Him as well… and you know… it wasn’t weird or wrong but almost looked like it was choregraphed throughout the room)!  So, what can I say?  I haven’t looked back since!  I am so happy that I decided to yield to His physical nudging and respond to His inner encouragement as it brought me into a whole deeper place in my worship of the Lord.

Since Piper passed on September 2^nd, Psalm 118:24 has had a renewed and more powerful effect on my daily life than ever before.  I am convinced that God is concerned about our physical and mental psyches just as much as He is our spiritual man.  So, do it!  Get up tomorrow, spin around and then begin to rejoice and be happy… especially if you don’t feel like it!  (You might want to get somewhere alone first… and make sure the dog isn’t laying at your feet!)

Have a rejoiceful and happy week, and as you do, say with me… “I am expectant of God’s joy to lead and encourage the way I think and act today!”

It’s Dark, Rainy and Cold Today…

I awoke this morning to a dark and dreary day outside my bedroom window.  But you know, even though it looked that way, that is not how my first peek from that side-of-the-house-facing window greeted me.  Instead I felt lifted up!  There was a certain sense of expectation in the air… which is something I haven’t felt for some time now since the passing of my lovely wife almost two months ago.

I was a little disappointed as I looked over the yard from the bedroom viewpoint though, when I didn’t immediately spot some wildlife scampering around the yard.  On most days it is pretty easy to find a squirrel or two on the fence, little birds picking out seeds on the lawn and a rabbit or two chewing on some green delicacy that came up in the grass.  But I guess the rain caused then to stay warm and dry today in whatever shelter they could find.

We seem to go through a pattern during the end of the summer when the critters around the yard tend to lessen their presence and then make a come back appearance as the fall season approaches.  And that is where we are now as October comes to a close.  In the late afternoon yesterday when I took Fiver out to play catch in the backyard, he quickly scared off our neighborhood Cooper’s Hawk who took quick flight to escape 75lbs of white fur bounding his way!  Then as I tossed his mini football across the yard I enjoyed watching a female Cardinal hop from branch to branch in the plentitude of trees along our fence line and listen to the other hidden birds “talking” to one another amongst the tree tops.

But alas, that was not the plan for this morning!  But it didn’t seem to matter as I felt the Father’s peace and abounding joy making an impact on my heart, despite the grey clouds and wet weather outside.  Have you ever had a morning like that? 

As I began to pray over the Word a little while later, I sensed the Lord’s desire for me to look up some scriptures that talk about the rain, so I did a quick word search in my Bible study program eSword.  The verse that quickly caught my attention was Psalm 72:6 in the King James Version which declares: “He shall come down like rain upon the mown grass: as showers that water the earth.”  Well, that translation made me laugh as I had been thinking about that very subject while I was out back with Fiver the day before!

While walking around the yard I noticed that the lawn was most likely going into dormancy for the winter, but I was also thinking about how nice some rain would be as I had recently mowed the lawns!  It’s like the Lord was reading my mind!  Then I switched over to the Contemporary English Version’s take of that particular verse and began to understand where the Lord was going with the idea of rain…

This modern translation states: “Let him be as helpful as rain that refreshes the meadows and the ground.”   It was the “refreshment” of the Lord that I felt when I arose and looked out that window and could have easily taken what I was seeing in the wrong way!  The Lord wanted me to see the “refreshing” that He was doing in me through the visual presentation of the rain outside.  Just as He refreshes the meadows and the ground, He has been wanting to refresh me with the rain of His truth, His peace, His expectation, His joy and His love.

When Piper and I first started going to what would become our favorite camping place up at Plumas Eureka State Park in the Sierras in northern California in the mid-1970’s, there was beautiful wildlife all over the place.  There was an area in Little Jamieson Creek that flows throughout the park where you could watch the beavers working on the monster dam they had built.  The campsites had all kinds of little critters running around the ground, scurrying up and down the trees and flying amongst the tall pines.  Over the years since then, much of the wildlife seemed to have moved deeper into the woods away from the campgrounds.

One of our favorite places to walk was through the magnificent meadow in the park.  We came across all kinds of animal tracks, scat and other tell-tale signs of the various animals who called the park their home.  We even came face to face with a porcupine one morning… but slowly retreated as we figured it best to allow him his space!

But with all that life, we also encountered a few thunderstorms along the way!  On our first or second trip to the park we got there just as a series of thunderstorms blew through the mountains.  And after three days of hard rain we were beginning to not be so happy-go-lucky!  It’s one of the few times that I actually remember us getting on each other’s nerves!  Thankfully, the storms finally blew through and we were able to extend our stay by a few days in order to enjoy the warm dry weather!

That rain though, is what refreshed the land and enabled all the beautiful wildlife, the trees, the plants and that gorgeous meadow to flourish.  Just like it is the “rain” of the Holy Spirit that encourages and enables us to live life in the fulness of what the Father desires (and has provided) for our lives!

So yea… it may be a bit dreary looking and cold outside (the thermometer on the deck is reading 40 degrees right now…) but what I choose to see is the refreshing of the Lord upon my life!  It is that very refreshing from the truth of His Word that is bringing me through this most difficult time in my life… and is that which can and will do the same for you!

So… what do YOU see when you look outside?  Cold, rain and dark skies or the refreshing of the Lord falling upon your life?

Have a wonderful weekend, and as you do, say along with me: “I love the rain, as I am expecting the refreshing of the Lord to fall upon me, today!”

What's for Breakfast?

I was standing in the dining room this morning looking into the kitchen and living room and was thinking that it was kind of funny to see just how much one individual can influence your life.  Just about everyway I turned I saw things that had special meaning that only Piper and I would understand, items that we purchased to decorate our homes throughout the years and then, of course, all the things that actually belonged to her like her piano, her flute and piccolo, a special old-fashioned lamp that she always loved, and some beautiful framed wall hangings that were given to her by friends, family and former students.

This house is almost like a museum to Piper!  The minute I open my eyes in the morning I can sense her presence through all the memories posted here, there and everywhere around our home.  As I drove the forty-minute ride into Morrisville yesterday for a doctor’s appointment, I repeatedly found myself reaching out to her seat to grasp one of her hands that I am sure I held literally thousands of times over the years of our relationship!

While at the doctor’s we talked about the last few months of Piper’s life and how I had physically stretched myself to the limit in order to ensure that all of her needs were abundantly met.  I had promised her that I would always be there for her and fought to keep my word to her to the very end.  We also talked about her final hours and how perfect the conclusion of her life seemed to be.  I can only look back now in praise and thanksgiving unto the Lord for always being there for me so that I had the physical strength, emotional fortitude, mental acuity and faith in Him and His Word to carry me over and through the many years of that journey.

And now… well… I am slowly but surely seeing my dependency or as I am learning to call it, my satisfaction refocus from Piper and our love for each other onto the Lord and His love for me.  When I open my eyes in the morning I no longer automatically look over to my right to where Piper slept for many years to see how she is doing, but instead almost immediately begin to speak out the Word or sing a praise song softly to him, declaring:

“Good morning Lord!  I choose this morning to continue to let your love satisfy all of my needs.  This way I can celebrate and be glad for the times of this new season in my life.”                   Psalm 90:14 (CEV - personalized)

According to another new commentary I was reading this morning by Warren W. Wiersbe, Psalm 90 is the oldest Psalm in the book of Psalms and was written by Moses, possibly after Israel’s failure of faith at Kadesh Barnea (See: Numbers 13-14), when the nation was condemned to journey in the wilderness for forty years.  So, it could very well be that Moses was going through a really rough time in his life when he penned this work.  But as a type and shadow of the faith that Jesus would later provide for mankind after His finished work of the cross, Moses chose to not focus his attention on failure, disappointment or sorrow, but on his trust in the Lord’s love to carry him past the present pain and allow him to celebrate the joyful times ahead.

Sounds a lot like where I am in my current place in life doesn’t it?  It also might be similar to the place in life where many of you may be standing as well.  So, what do we do?  Well, like the example we find in Moses, we choose to move on from where we are now and focus in on what the Lord says about our upcoming future.  And where do we find that information (you knew I was going to ask that didn’t you… and you most likely already know what I am gonna say, right)?  Yep!  In His Word!

Dr. Wiersbe goes on to suggest that Psalm 90:14 was written in reference to the manna that came down from the heavens early every day, six days a week and met the physical needs of the Israelites.  He then states that “It is a picture of Jesus Christ, the bread of life.  The manna sustained life for the Jewish people for nearly forty years, but Jesus gives life to the whole world for all eternity.” (Be Exultant- Psalms 90-150- Warren W. Wiersbe, page 24)

I have stated on many occasions and continue to be totally convinced that it was our ever-increasing intake of God’s Word and the faith it continued to ignite in Piper and I that sustained and empowered us for every decision, every action, every ounce of strength and every fight we faced throughout our journey over the last 10+ years of our lives… just like Dr. Wiersbe said about Moses and the Children of Israel when they came face to face with the wilderness.  The King James Version of Psalm 90:14 asks of the Lord to “satisfy us early…”  To me that always meant first thing in the morning!  And that is when I love to get into the Word.  I am learning now, more than ever before, to allow His input to be the words of life that satisfy me before anything else each day!

What do you think?  I want that bread of sustaining life as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning… how about you?

Have a good rest of the week, and as you do, say with me… “I am expecting to get a greeeeat breakfast of God’s Word first thing every day!”