What Do You Continue In?

After all my words in my blog post on last Friday where I encouraged everyone to have an unmovable, childlike trust in the Lord… I kinda had a pretty rough day on Saturday!  I was doing fine until Fiver and I were coming back from our early afternoon walk and stopped at the mailbox to see what surprises might be found therein.  Inside was a little cardboard box that had me stumped!  The return address was covered with delivery stamps and I couldn’t readily recall if I had recently purchased anything online.

By the time we got up to the porch though, I remembered that I had ordered some new business cards for the blog ministry with all my current contact information here in Oklahoma.  I tossed the box on the kitchen table and promptly forgot about it while I got busy with some other tasks that needed to be attended to.  When I sat down for lunch a while later, I saw the box, grabbed a knife and opened it up.  With great expectancy, I took hold of the bundled stack of cards and proceeded to pull one out to make sure that there were no printing errors.  Everything seemed to be correct… but yet something was wrong… It just didn’t look right… Then it hit me like a brick…

Ever since Piper and I got married I have always had personal business cards beginning with the Photography business we had for many years, for ministry projects like “The Praise Works!” in the nineties, the lawn care side business I had on and off (since junior high, to be honest) and then the blog ministry over the last nine years.  But what differed on these newest cards was… for the first time in 44 years… Piper’s name wasn’t on the top line next to mine!  It simply read, “Jim Berruto.”  I’m not sure why, but that one came out of nowhere and I instantly broke down.  Just when you think that you’re doing well in dealing with the situation something sneaks in to get you!

I would think that each of you have also experienced a situation similar to mine.  Where something comes up that catches you flat-footed and you have to stop and deal with it!  My experience over the years is that not everyone does that though… They push it aside or muddle around in self pity and/or depression.  As I’ve mentioned on many occasions, Piper and I saw that fairly often with many of the people that we interacted with during our journey with her deteriorating health.

I read yesterday in the book of John where Jesus declared to the Jews who believed in Him at the time (and is still relevant to Believer’s today): “If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32 KJV)  When I finished reading those words, I immediately went back to the previous day’s experience with the updated cards and the renewed revelation that she is REALLY gone.  The tears began to form again, but this time my eyes and thoughts locked on to the phrase, “If ye continue in my word” and I remembered the definite commitment we made back on that summer night in July of 2007 when we got the first negative test results concerning Piper’s situation.

Like I’ve said a million times before… wait… wait for it… listen closely… you hear it?  There’s Piper’s sweet little voice saying “Jim, don’t exaggerate!” Okay… let me rephrase… like I’ve said many times in this blog, after that commitment, we didn’t flinch and did our very best to keep our eyes on His Word in difference to what we saw happening before our physical sight.  The statement Jesus’ made in John 8 came true right before us on a daily… and sometimes minute by minute basis.  By continuing to keep our focus on God and His Word, we were literally set free from making decisions based on the roller-coaster ride of emotions.

Our focus on what we considered to be the absolute truth of God’s Word over the natural situation is the ONLY thing that kept us going.  To be honest… it’s the ONLY thing that kept me sane… especially when some others were literally going bonkers with their emotions around us.

I’ve run the gamut of feelings and reactions since those early years after I quit my secular job in 2010 to take care of Piper 24/7, and went from confusion, frustration and anger, to forgiveness, understanding and the realization I now have, of how awful it must have been to be observant of what was happening to Piper without the hope (or better yet, expectation) of God being the Greater One over sickness, disease or any potentially negative financial situation.  I began to see how living in fear is similar to the water shut off valve at my new house… but I’ll explain that story in the next blog post later this week!

In the meantime, I might suggest that you take a few moments as you read this today, to consider the things in your life that you tend to “continue in” during the good, the bad and the potentially ugly times you experience.  It could be an interesting… maybe life-altering activity for you!

Have a good week.  I’m getting the bedrooms ready for the coming of new carpet this Wednesday and am getting quite excited about it!  What are you expectant of and excited about today?