Let me put out a disclaimer first thing today. Please understand that if parts of this blog are incoherent or seems to have incomplete thoughts, it’s because I have been up and ready to go since about 4:00 this morning! I guess that I’d best explain my predicament…
Ever since Piper had the seizures and the cast put on her fractured wrist, she has been experiencing an increase in body shaking and jerks. A few days ago I was awakened at about 5:00 AM with the sound of her moving around in her bed. Yesterday I got a little bit of a reprieve as she was not affected until 7:15, but I was not so blessed this morning as she experienced some hard jerks beginning at 4:00 AM. When the situation seemed to get worse I thought it best to get ready to take her to the ER. So I got dressed and put on a pot of coffee!
Thank God though, as she calmed down after about an hour and I was able to catch a few winks before they started in again at 7:00! At this later hour I was able to get her up and give her the morning dosages of her meds and she relaxed comfortably. I’ve been keeping her doctor up to date on the daily events and am awaiting his reply. We’ve already made some adjustments to her regiment, but it looks like more are needed!
I am so glad that I have been studying from Ephesians chapter five where the Apostle Paul has been teaching on the fine points of a Godly relationship between husbands and wives. Being able to focus on my God given responsibilities to my lovely wife and empowered by His love for me and mine for Him… and for Piper have helped me to function without giving in to the nagging thoughts of complaint that are just itching to get in!
The passage from this chapter, verses 25-27 from The Message Bible put all of this into perspective for me. This paraphrased version declares in everyday language: “Husbands go all out in your love for your wives; exactly as Christ did for the church - a love marked by giving not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor – since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage.”
With all that in my mind, it was rather easy to sit by her side in the quiet of the early morning pre-dawn and lightly rub her arm and side as I spoke gentle and comforting words to her while she was experiencing what must be very confusing signals in her body due to the influxes of the disease. At one point I simply asked the Lord to help me quiet everything in my head except for the truth of His Word, and after a few moments I felt a freedom to only see His will for Piper and to be able, in the midst of conflicting evidence, to “calleth those things that be not as though they were.” (Romans 4:17 KJV)
So… while I may be a little tired today, I am strengthen by the knowledge that He empowers me by His love, oversees my abilities and desires to assist my wife when she is not able to help herself, and find my overwhelming peace, my joy, and unfailing commitment to her in His Word… even when it looks like nothing seems to be working right at the moment!
And with that thought… I am going to find a soft spot on the couch, take a seat and find out how fast it takes me to slip into slumber! Have a great weekend, and as you do, keep asking yourself… “In Whom am I expecting to find my strength, my peace, my joy and my commitment to those I love today?”