Stop and Breathe!

I gathered a few more thoughts on the subject of longsuffering when it comes to being “humble and gentile” while you “put up with each other and love each other.” (Ephesians 4:2 CEV)  Over the last few days I discussed the importance of walking in God’s agape love with an emphasis on understanding that God’s love is always the best approach no matter what the duration, depth or pain of the situation.

Yesterday when I was studying through the end of Ephesians 4 and into the next chapter, I discovered the most simplistic and succinct directions concerning the way to respond to any situation in God’s agape love!  Ephesians 4:29 says: “Don’t say anything that would hurt another person.  Instead, speak ONLY what is good so that you can give help whenever it is needed.” (God’s Word ©)  That makes it easy right?  Well, yes and no!

I had a boss at the Home Depot store that I transferred to when we moved to Oklahoma, that was a great guy, knew his stuff and was FULL of energy.  I’m sure that this was partially driven by his temperament and the multiplicity of “Rock Star” energy drinks that were his constant companion!  At times his push to get things done would cause him to lose his patience with others who weren’t understanding his directions or not moving fast enough. 

Over the three years that I was in that store, I got to be good friends with Curt and during the last year actually worked as a supervisor with him.  In fact, he took over part of my responsibilities when we moved back to California.    During our work together he and I had many times discussed our “religious beliefs” and even though he didn’t share my Christian convictions, he respected me and how I responded to things in life. (and I his beliefs as well)

Over time his impatience and the reaction that it caused him to make in certain situations got to be a joke with us.  So whenever we were together and his patience would began to wear thin with someone else and as his face would turn red, Curt would pause, look toward me and take a deep breath while clasping his hands together and in a sweeping motion draw them down from his face to his waist (similar to some eastern religious traditions).  Then when he was ready he would smile, let out the breath and attempt to calmly assist the other employee to understand his request.

We would always laugh about this – BUT it worked for him!  It kept him calm, his blood pressure in check and helped to stabilize the situation, usually with the added effect of relaxing everyone involved and causing the task to go smoother! 

Curt’s response to potentially “hot” situations is also a good example for us as we attempt to walk in agape love toward others.  Paul’s advice toward the end of Ephesians four may seem simple and easy, but in the heat or surprise of a situation we may be tempted to act in ways that may not always be helpful.  Maybe, it would be best to train oneself to stop, take a deep breath and think for a moment before making any comments or taking any action in response to what is going on around you.  It is just like how some individuals with fiery tempers are instructed to do and count to ten before saying or doing something they might later regret.

I think that one of the most special aspects of God’s love for us is the grace factor!  Being able to say the right thing at the right time in the midst of any situation is not necessarily a trait that one instantly attains.  Like most things in life, it involves a learning process that we get better at each time we do it!  That’s where God’s grace comes in.  I would call it the gray area or the flexibility of His agape love.  God knows that we will make mistakes in this life and He will help us to learn through them so that we don’t keep repeating our errors!

Ephesians 5:9-10 goes along with this idea.  It encourages us to “Be good and honest and truthful, as you TRY to please the Lord.” (CEV)  The key word here is “TRY!”  As we make the effort to grow and mature in our Christian walk, He is right alongside with us helping us and applying lavish amounts of grace toward us and everyone else involved in the process!  He is the one who will help us to be humble and gentle, to speak what is good and honest and to stay calm.  Then because of His assistance and grace, we will experience the effects of His love, his peace and His healing instead of an escalation of the problem!

So see… it’s not that hard after all!  Give it a shot.  Stop, breath and think (while listening to that small still voice inside of you) and then respond in God’s agape love!  It usually works for me… and will for you as well!  Have a great day.  Stay in tune to His Word, and keep asking yourself… “What am I expecting today?”