Days of Discovery!

I was thinking this morning of how these last 3 ½ years since my wife’s passing onto glory, have been an eye-opening time of DISCOVERY for me.  I’ve known many people over the years who deliberately spent time following high school to travel, work and/or experiment with alternate lifestyles, in a search for who they were.  I’ve also known others who simply floundered for many years until they found or stumbled upon some direction for their lives.

My life, on the other hand, was quite different than those.  I started dating my wife-to-be on the first day of our Senior year in high school and in many respects…everything just sort of fell into to place from there.  It may sound like an old cliché - but I can’t think of any other way of describing our relationship… except to say it was like a match made in heaven!

We had very similar personalities, likes and dislikes, moral and religious convictions, a hunger for the things of God and an excitement for life that was definitely based on a “Can Do/Let’s Do It” attitude!  Most of all though, I believe that we had humble hearts and wanted to see and do the best for each other.  Simply said, somewhere, early on in our relationship, we just became as one, an inseparable team that saw and always planned our future together.

We went to college together, got involved in the leadership of local church groups wherever we were during those years, began working, were married, went into Christian ministry, started and raised our family and never looked back!  And it was a very enjoyable and satisfying life.  It seemed that we were an unstoppable team that would last forever… and then… out of the blue, Piper was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and life suddenly went on hold.

Our love and commitment for each never stopped though and I spent the last eight years of her life taking care of her 24 hours a day… 365 days of the year.  “In sickness and in health,” the covenant we entered into on our wedding day many years before, was never questioned and never wavered… and I said Good Bye to her in the early morning hours on Sunday, September 2, 2018.

And suddenly… for the first time in 48 years…since my junior year in high school… it was just “ME”… and not “WE!”

So yeah… you could say that the last 3 ½ since her passing has been a time of DISCOVERY for me!  And as I began to look into the subject (ie; ME!), it became rather obvious that there were many places that were standing kind of rickety as half of their foundational support was missing!  I guess one never fully realizes how much they have come to depend on someone as integral to their lives as their spouse of many years… until they are gone!

So, that, as understood by anyone who has lost a spouse, has been my story for these last years in her absence.  I Corinthians 13:1, in The Message Bible, tells us,

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the CREAKING of a rusty gate.” 

As most of you know, I have been reading this chapter on Christian Love, or better yet… as the chapter on DOING Christian Love… every day for a few months now, but today I had to laugh when I got a slightly different take on the end of this verse when I began to wonder if I still had areas in my life… especially since Piper’s homegoing… where I still CREAK like a rusty gate?

Dictionary.com informs us that the word “CREAK” is defined as “making a sharp, harsh, grating or squeaking sound; or to show weakness or frailty under strain.”

So, I laughed initially, for at my age there are many times when my hips or particularly my knees seem to “CREAK” and grate when I bend down or stand up… but I also laughed with a tinge of sadness, because there have been times during my current period of DISCOVERY when having to go places and or do things that used to be second nature for Piper and I to do together… sort of “CREAKED” or grated against my weakened confidence to do them on my own!

But while I may have had to temporarily say goodbye to the LOVE of my life… there is another LOVING Presence that has not and will never leave me… or you, for that matter!  And that is the LOVE of Jesus Christ and the truth of His Word, for Whom Psalm 23:4 in The Passion Translation promises us that,

“…The comfort of Your LOVE takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for YOU are near.” 

And it is the intimate knowing of His LOVE for me that has been the firm foundation on which I have established my footing… and the cure for my “CREAKING” while I DISCOVER the next plan, vision and DREAM that He has for me to complete.*

Then there is I Corinthians 13:7 which also assures us that the believing and DOING of God’s LOVE,

“Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.” (The Message) 

So, that is the story of what been happening with me.  It’s the story of my new days of DISCOVERY and it is the answer and peace that I have found through the never ending, constant companionship of Jesus and His Word… that tells me of His LOVE for me.

It is also the story of my future… and it can be yours as well!  Just reach out, take His hand, trust in Him always and go forth into your new days of DISCOVERY ahead!

Have a great rest of the week, and as you do… keep expecting to DISCOVER God’s best for your life!

*See: Ephesians 3:17-21