Dreams

Last night was one of those unique times that I dreamt a lot about Piper throughout the early hours of the morning… literally up until I awoke!  The last dream seemed so real that I had to peek over my shoulder to confirm that she wasn’t there… and that it had been just a dream!

The last dream was more like an HD video of one of the most special times we had together at our favorite Fort Ross Lodge on the Sonoma County, California coastline about an hour northwest of Santa Rosa.  Aptly named, the lodge is just north of the historic site of Fort Ross State Park where the Russians established the southernmost hub of their settlements in North America from 1812 to 1842.  The restored fort is now both a California and a National Historical Landmark.  It is open to the public and holds historical events throughout the year.

The Lodge is just up the road from the fort and sits on a tall bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  The one drawback that we could ever find about the Lodge was that there was no direct access to the beach below the bluff… at least none that we knew of!

You have to understand… When we went on our one or two mini-holidays alone during the year, we didn’t stray too far from the accommodations.  We weren’t there to sightsee, to check out the local restaurants or shop in the local tourist stores… although we did do that on occasion when we stayed at the Inn at the Tides in Bodega Bay since everything was within walking distance.  We were there simply to relax and enjoy each other!  We embarked upon lazy, slow walks along the bluff, took lots of pictures (mostly of her!), laughed a whole bunch of a lot, ate in with the meals we purchased before we left Santa Rosa (a stop at our neighborhood Raley’s met all those needs…) went to bed late and slept in!  

The Lodge had a little store across the highway where you could rent old VHS movies to watch on the TV and video players that came with the room.    So, we usually rented a funny movie and laughed late into the night!  Ah!  What I wouldn’t give for another couple of nights with her like that again!

That particular time was always very special in my memories and the dream reminded me why!  Like I said, when we went on those holidays our attention was closely focused on each other, and began as soon as we drove the Camaro out of the driveway from our home!  If anything special could have happened, it did on that two night stay at the Lodge.  Piper had a way of enrapturing my heart and when we were alone… well, all I can say is that it felt like I was in seventh heaven!  And I know that my extra attention and the special gifts I gave her, made her feel pretty special as well. 

So, when I awoke this morning, I felt a special joy in my heart and a lightness in my being that led me to lean over from the bed and scratch the dog’s tummy as he usually is laying right next to the bed when I get up each day!

Yesterday, I joined a group on Facebook called “I Love the Sierra” and was almost brought to tears this morning when I looked at some of the recent posts that pictured the familiar scenery that is unique to that mountain landscape.  I came near to tears as I found myself fondly saying, “That was our special place!”  While Piper and I, and later the kids and us enjoyed our frequent trips to the local coast, and the many vacations in the Redwoods, any real vacation that was to be worth its salt… had to be up in the Sierras around the gorgeous lakes, mountain views and endless trees of both Sierra and Plumas Counties in northeastern California near the Nevada border.

As I looked at the many pictures today, I realized that Piper and I spent our first official vacation together as husband and wife there in 1976… as well as our last together in 2005… and a whole bunch in between before and after we had the kids!  It most definitely was a special place for us.  I’ve told the story of how we found Plumas Eureka State Park during that first winter together as we poured over a map of California that we had spread out on our hand-me-down kitchen table in our first little apartment. 

We had wanted to find someplace new, some special vacation spot that we could call our own.  Piper’s family spent many vacations at the coast while my family had spent most vacations in the California Redwoods.  So, we felt it important to start new traditions that would be unique to us and our future family.  And the first time we drove into that special park in our 1973 over-loaded red, woody Pinto wagon, we knew that we’d found just the spot!  It is also the place that I am hoping to visit again next summer so that I can spread Piper’s ashes off the top of our favorite mountain peak at 7447 feet, a little over 2000 feet above the campground in the park.

Whenever we went to those magnificent mountains, I had a tendency to feel that I could do just about anything. To dream big dreams, imagine things that defied the limitations of my natural understanding and ask of God things that seemed utterly impossible to attain.  Since Piper moved on to heaven, those kinds of things have seemed be nothing but foggy inclinations of a distant past and hopeless dreams.  But with the passing of time comes bits and pieces of healing to my soul.

I’ve discovered that the more I study verses of Scriptures like those found in Ephesians 3:20, the more I begin to sense the stirrings of possibility… God’s possibilities returning to my life once again!  I know that I talk about this verse a lot… but I am finding out that I NEED to talk about it, read it, meditate on it and put it into action over and over again in my life! – YOU MIGHT NEED TO AS WELL…

I read it over before I turned out the light last night and again at 5:30 this morning after taking the dog out for his early morning appointment with our backyard, and once again during my regular morning Bible study time at 8:00.  I then found myself personalizing from The Passion Translation, writing it down like this: “God is NOW achieving infinitely more in ME than my greatest requests, more than my most unbelievable dreams and is FAR exceeding my wildest imaginations – and then He out does them all for me, for His miraculous power is constantly energizing me… TODAY!”

I also noticed that every note that I took this morning was all about the reoccurring theme of TODAY… not of my past, not of my future, but of TODAY! 

Over this last weekend, I had the stunning revelation that since I firmly believe that the good Lord took Piper home to be with Him at just the right and perfect time… that He wouldn’t have separated us without also having had a plan and purpose that was right and perfect for me as well.  As I study Ephesians 3:20, I can’t help but think that He is trying to tell me something about how I am to access and work that perfect plan for me… RIGHT NOW… starting TODAY!  What do you think?

It is definitely enough to stir me up, to shift gears and begin to get me to focus on what He is wanting me to do TODAY.  I am thankful for my wonderful past with my most wonderful wife.  I find myself constantly thinking and saying throughout the day about how much Piper spoiled me with the way she lived her life, the way Jesus brightly shown through everything she said and did and with the way she made me the happiest, most blest man alive.  Now it is time to take the standard that she set, and pass it on to others! 

I think that things are just about to get interesting…

Have a great rest of the week and I pray that your expectations are beginning to explode just as much as mine!