Am I Responsible for My Words?

I have to confess that on one level I am actually kind of thankful for the Stay at Home order during the Covid-19 pandemic.  During these last few months, I have actually used the seclusion to do a lot of introspection into my life… where it’s been, where it is now and where I would like it to go!  I have forced myself to open up the door to some subjects I had felt were too sensitive to explore since the passing of my wife about a year and a half ago.  But with the passing of time, I am personally finding that the raw pain is subsiding and a new confidence and hope has begun to rise up within me.

I discovered only recently, that there were certain subjects that I was actually scared to indulge in because I was concerned about losing some of memories of the intense closeness that Piper and I had between us. It felt like if I went there, that I would lose a part of her in me.  But through the hours and days of contemplation and prayer… and countless pages of notes, I feel like I’ve hit a point where I am ready to dive into the personal project of “re-activating” my life again!  It is also kind of funny in that my “re-activation” correlates to the exact timing of the Oklahoma Governor’s announcement that “Oklahoma will proceed to Phase 3 of the Open Up and Recover Safety plan beginning today, June 1^st.”*  

Within this new phase, most public restrictions are being lifted while still encouraging social distancing where applicable and the continued use of proper hygiene.  It does though, keep restrictions on the elderly, care homes and those with pre-existing conditions.  The Covid-19 numbers in the State have been steadily going down since the initiation of Phase One and Two over the past weeks and the health professionals in the area feel like the move into Phase 3 is justified.

I can sense many changes occurring in me, but I still struggle as the evening hours come upon us and things around the home begin to quiet down.  As I sat on the couch the other night watching TV, I suddenly found my thoughts drifting off into the memories of the physical closeness that Piper and I always enjoyed.  I’ve mentioned many times that Piper and I always tended to be “hands on” people when it came to our interactions with the churches we served in and with life in general.  Well… the same could be said for the way we interacted with each other!

We enjoyed holding hands pretty much everywhere we went together.  Piper had the (cool to me) habit of sliding her arm under mine and snuggling up to me when we walked into a restaurant, or a museum or any other similar establishment.  When we sat in the car our hands automatically met on the console between the seats, and whenever I left the house for work in the morning and came home at night, it would be very unusual to NOT find her immediately approaching me with a hug and a kiss... and many times with lipstick on my shirt! 

As I contemplated all of this, I thought about how much I missed touching her, and then it dawned on me that even more so than that… how much I missed her reaching out and touching me.  During the last years of her life when she couldn’t really move on her own, I still reached out to her like normal… but it struck that night, that I can’t even remember the last time that she actually initiated a touch to me.  That was a hard thought and I began to cry.  

I stood up about then and walked over to her piano in the living room and quietly looked at all the pictures of her and of us together that I put up over her Baldwin Acrosonic.  She literally spent hours at that piano and it just kind of radiates her aura.  Without too much thought I heard myself beginning to utter some words of self-pity when I suddenly caught myself and declared, “I can’t say that!” and immediately turned the beginnings of a negative confession into words of self-encouragement and faith.  Then I laughed and said aloud, “Boy!  That sure is engrained in me!

In Philippians 4:9 the Apostle Paul encouraged his readers to “Follow the example of all that we have imparted to you and the God of peace will be with you in all things.” (The Passion Translation)  Over the years of our marriage, since the mid-1970’s Piper and I have sat under a variety of men and women of God who have taught us, by precept and example, the Biblical truth of the importance of the words that we speak into the environment of our daily lives.  If you know me at all, then you know that I always strive to speak and then act upon words of faith and not fear and doubt.  In our Christian walk… I guess you could say that it was the way we were raised!  We were taught to be responsible for the words and the corresponding actions that we take in life.

The word translated “FOLLOW” in our verse above is also translated “PRACTICE” or simply “DO!” in other English translations.  In the original Greek, the word “DO” is defined as “to practice, to perform repeatedly or habitually, to be busy with, or to commit to do (in life).”  So, with that in mind, I guess that I could say that I have definitely formed a life-long habit and desire to always think, say and then do the right things... the things that are in line with the truth of God’s Word.

I have the habit of re-reading all of my texts, emails & letters before I hit the send button or drop the envelope in the mail box, as well as re-reading and editing my blog posts at least three times before I publish them.  I do my best to try and assure that people will receive my thoughts in the correct manner… although I do admit, that I am not always successful in that endeavor… but at least I’m trying!  

I’ll dig a little deeper into this subject in my next few blog posts, but for now, hopefully I’ve wet your whistle with the thought of taking personal responsibility for the words we speak… and beyond that, to put the positive truth of God’s Word, spoken in agreement through our lips, to work in the atmosphere and events of our daily lives!

Have a good week, be safe out there as restrictions are being lifted and take a moment to think about what you say each day!

*Fox23 News, Tulsa TV station headline report 6/1/20.