Identity Theft

This weekend turned out to be another time when the most seemingly insignificant thing would suddenly explode before me with an avalanche of memories of times spent with my loving wife.  For example, I had been joking with my cousin about piano lessons when I had the idea of pulling out one of the beginner books that Piper liked to use when she taught piano.  Well, that was a BIG mistake! 

As soon as I opened up the old trunk where she stored many of her piano books, I was flooded with tear-jerking memories as it was filled with various books and sheets of music that ranged from some of the beginner books she actually learned from complete with a very childish signature of “Piper Canevari,” to some very intricate pieces of classical music, to fun pieces she enjoyed like “Piper’s Ragtime” that she purchased years ago from Piper’s Opera House in Virginia City, California!

Little triggers like that tugged at my heart all weekend.  At one point I actually had to go lay down as it felt like my heart was physically going to break!  By the time dinner came and went last night, and I sat before the TV trying to stay interested in a Christmas movie, I was sort of a basket case!  Then one of the characters mentioned something about special memories between two people and I suddenly saw the light!

Out of nowhere I had the thought, that all though Piper may be gone from my physical presence, I still have ALL those special, private and intimate memories that we made together over the many years since high school.  Those were memories that were ONLY known to us… and NO body can ever take those away from me!  Things like the secret kisses we would steal while eating lunch together way out in the sports fields at Montgomery High… believing that nobody saw us… which thinking back today, with the number of people out there at lunch… I kinda doubt that it was unseen by others… but to us at the time, it was a BIG adventure!

They were the private things we shared throughout our 48 years together that began from almost day one of our relationship, personal matters, family matters, closely held dreams and ambitions that we never shared with anybody else, experiences that no body else had or even knew about… and a lot more.  Those were some of the building blocks that made Jim and Piper who they were… and they always will be… and they’ll always be an intricate part of who I am!

I also got to thinking that one of the biggest responsibilities that I endeavored to accomplish during the ten or so years of Piper’s illness (as well as today and moving forward) was to keep her identity safe, secure and well known… even if she couldn’t verbally express her thoughts to others.  Matthew 5:48 in the Message Bible says, "In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

Much to my consternation I was surprised to discover that there were some people around us who became increasingly uncomfortable not only in Piper’s presence but, through the years, to the point where her name was seldom mentioned by them in conversations with me.  It looked to me like they had already written her life off, and it disturbed me greatly.

On the other hand, there were also those friends and family members who I talked to (and continue to today) on a regular basis.  They were and have been like a breath of fresh air as they demonstrated their love for Piper and me by regaling me with the personal stories of their experiences with Piper over the years.  Their words and actions showed me that keeping Piper’s identity alive was of great importance in their lives.

So, I guess that this is one of the points that I felt led to drive home today.  Each of our God-created identities are precious in His sight.  It devastated me to see those who refused to acknowledge Piper’s identity.   I would also imagine that it is the same to the Lord when He considers each of us and who He created us to be.  Don’t allow the fear of what a person may look like, or how they have physically changed from the person you used to know, stop you from reaching out to them with a quick phone call, a smile, a kind word or a simple touch on the shoulder.  I can still see the look in Piper’s eyes when strangers did that in the stores we frequented.  I am not sure who was blessed more… her or me!

Those precious and private memories that Piper and I made over the years will always keep aflame in me the identity of my wonderful wife, no matter where the path ahead leads me.  They are all apart of me that NO one can take away… just like YOU are who God created you to be.  Your memories, your actions and your beliefs make up your spiritual, emotional and physical DNA… its who you are… it’s your identity!  Don’t ever allow it to be stolen from you... or from someone you love!

Have a great new week, and as you do, say with me… “I am expecting to always live out my God-created Identity!”