Looking Back...

Have you ever looked back in time and thought about particular incidents that you wish you could have done differently… or not at all?  I sure have!  In fact, I was talking with my wife about some of those situations as I was preparing dinner just last night.  In particular, I was reminiscing over some repeated interactions we had had with some folks over the years. 

At the time, things looked and felt right, but later in life when a difficult situation arose, we learned that the other individuals did not always have the same outlook on our interactions as we did… even though they always presented themselves as positive and willing participants, having originally initiated the interactions to begin with!

As I relived some of the hurt I felt when these revelations came out, I looked at Piper and said, “You know… the bottom line is that it is probably all my fault!  I should have seen it and put a stop to it.”  But then I recalled some things that immediately made me reconsider what I had just said.

I remembered the many discussions and times of intense prayer that Piper and I had before bringing the other folks into our situations.  Then as I was studying the Word this morning I saw some things in the Word that seemed to support my change of heart… and stop the self-condemnation that I was beginning to heap on myself!

While in the Word today I had personalized Proverbs 3:5-6 and declared over myself that “I trust in you Lord with all of my heart, and I do not rely on my own understanding.  In all of my ways I acknowledge You, for you are the One who makes my paths smooth.” (God’s Word – personalized)  As I explored these verses, I followed my usual pattern of study and looked up the original Hebrew and Greek definition of certain words that I felt were key to the true meaning of what was being said.

Well, it turns out that the Greek meaning of the word “acknowledge” is defined as “a derivative of ‘ginosko’” which infers having a close relationship with or intimate knowing of someone.  The phrase “makes my paths smooth” means “to make straight, to dissect correctly” (Strong’s) or “To handle aright, to teach the truth directly and correctly.” (Thayer’s)

My remembrances of the discussions and times of prayer with my wife connected with a deeper understanding of this portion of scripture and suddenly got me to thinking that maybe… just maybe… what we did wasn’t necessarily a mistake but exactly how God wanted us to proceed in the first place.  While sharing all this with Piper last night I suddenly had to stop in mid-sentence and say “You know… I’ve always said that you are the most spiritually sensitive person I have ever known and if our actions were wrong at the time you would have sensed something amiss in your spirit!”

That revelation and the time in the Word this morning brought a great sigh of relief to me… and also kicked that ugly condemnation right square in the teeth!  Then it hit me that just because the other individuals involved didn’t act in faith and as an operation in which Papa God was involved as we did, it doesn’t mean that it is all my fault… right?

Maybe that part of the equation is all in their ballpark… We did our part as we believed the Lord was leading us… and they were responsible to do their part in line with their own “ginosko” relationship with the Lord.  I can look back on many of the bumps in our journey through life and see how the Lord worked miracles throughout the entire time… even though it may not have looked like it when we were in the midst of the situations.

Today I can reflect on all the good things that happened due to the physical location changes that we may have had to make and witness all the special people’s lives that we got to interact with along the way.  I think of the neighborhood kids who got saved, the countless new friends we made, the joy we had in those homes and neighborhoods and all the blessings received and given. 

Would I change any of that?  NO WAY!  So, who am I to say that we missed it or messed up along the way.  What right do I have to think that I would change this or that if I could?  From this point of view… we were in God’s plan ALL THE TIME!  So why condemn yourself for what MIGHT have been, but rejoice and be glad in what was and in what will be in your future.

If God can do all the miracles in our life like He has done in our past… JUST THINK about what HE can do in our future!!!

So, I choose this day to REJOICE in our past… exactly the way it happened.  I am thankful for all the good lessons I’ve learned and of all the things we got to do for HIM in ministry and in daily life!  

What about you and your past… and the future to come?

Have a great new week ahead, and as you do, keep asking yourself… “What good things am I expecting to experience today?”